I'm Happy for Indianapolis, but...

My name is Melanie, and I don’t like American football.

There I said it. Don’t judge me too harshly. I’ve never liked football really. The last football game I enjoyed had nothing to do with the game and everything to do with a cute boy off the field. I was 15. And while I am on this full disclosure kick, let me be completely honest…

• I didn’t know who Tim Tebow was until  2 weeks ago. No shame here, but I had to Google him to find out. HA!
• I didn’t know who was going to be playing in the Super Bowl until my company hung up banners for the 2 teams and with a little sleuthing I figured it out.
• I’m not going to watch any of the Super Bowl coverage. I’ll probably watch Downton Abbey instead. Yes, I prefer watching a program about an English country estate to that of viewing a bunch of men in helmets chasing each other around a field.
• I won’t be participating in any of the Super Bowl events around the city. I’m not crazy about crowds or insane traffic, and so I’ll probably stay home and read a book.

So there it is: I don’t like American football.

It doesn’t mean that I am un-American. My 17-year-old nephew already tried that line of logic with me. He suggested that my European travels have warped my ties to my native soil. HA! Silly boy! I didn’t like football long BEFORE my overseas excursions.

It doesn’t mean that I’m not supportive of Indiana. Are you kidding me? I support plenty of things in Indiana. I’m a member or a frequent visitor of many of the local museums, the zoo and cultural organizations around the city of Indianapolis. I love introducing guests to local attractions, and I spend plenty of money each year exploring my current state of residence.

It doesn’t mean that I don’t like sports period. I grew up on hockey and baseball. I played soccer, softball and rugby at summer camp. I’m not anti-sports at all. I especially love the Olympics, and this July, I’ll be watching with special interest as London plays host to the 2012 Olympics.

I just don’t like American football. It’s not my thing. It’s not something I am interested in or feel compelled to care about. I’ve explained it all before to most of you, and I don’t need to repeat myself.

You have your interests, your likes and dislikes; and I have mine. I’m happy for you, and I will support YOU as you pursue your interests and passions. And I hope you can learn to do the same for me...even though football just isn't a part of my life. 

Something Borrowed

Today, I’m borrowing from my sister’s blog and writing about a couple of things I like.*

Paul Mitchell’s Super Skinny ®Serum

I was skeptical about using this product. (Shocking, I know!) But I have drawers full of straightening and smoothing hair products that have been of little or no use to me in my ongoing struggle with my hair. Thus, my hair expectations were low when trying yet another product.

The fact is that I have less than naturally straight hair – aka kinky, wavy, frizzy, etc., – and so I am always on the lookout for a product that can help tame and smooth (i.e. control) each cuticle originating from my head. Over the holidays and at the suggestion of the aforementioned sister, I picked up a combo pack of the Super Skinny ® Daily Shampoo and the Super Skinny ® Serum, but until recently, I had not used it regularly.

I opted to make the switch two (2) days ago (yes, you read that correctly – only 2 days ago), and the results have been staggering! The Super Skinny ® Serum really seems to calm my wild and crazy hair down, and I like it. My hair is soft, playful and faux straight without too much effort. And should I ever tire of the smooth, sleek look of refined, professional hair, I can always go back to the other straightening products (in those full drawers I mentioned earlier) and once again get my fill of big, wacky hair.

My only complaint is that the Super Skinny ® Daily Shampoo and Super Skinny ® Serum are not recommended for similar smoothing and sleeking effects when used on hips, thighs and the stomach area. Oh if only… Mental Note: Write Paul Mitchell a letter and make the suggestion.

Extra ® Dessert Delights Sugarfree Gum

Wrigley introduced this new line of gum in 2010, and I have enthusiastically sampled all 3 of the decadent flavors.

Key Lime Pie was the early running favorite with a strong burst of lime goodness. It was like a dessert, hence the “Dessert Delights” title of the gum. YUM!

Strawberry Shortcake was tasty. I liked it, but it could not surpass my love of Key Lime Pie. It was forever a runner-up in my book.

However, when I tried the Mint Chocolate Chip, everything changed in an instant. A beautiful relationship was born between this girl and her gum. It was a blissful union! We have been soul mates ever since, and nothing must ever come between us.

*DISCLAIMER: No promotions, freebies or exchange of products or services have been offered to the writer of the blog above upon any condition that the said author provide this information to the general public in like manner. The author merely wished to share the words above in an effort to disseminate information. That being said, any future offers from the vendors above or other vendors will be readily reviewed and assessed by an opportunistic panel to judge their deemed value and worth to the said writer.  

Love Me Some Words on a Page

Call me old-fashioned, but I still love books. You know those mostly rectangular objects with inked words all over their paper pages. Yeah, those things – well, I love them. This isn’t news to you, I’m sure. I’ve blogged about my obsession before.

I have friends enjoying their iPads, their Kindles and Nooks, but I just can’t do it. You can’t cuddle with an electronic device. (sputter) OK, maybe you can, but I don’t want to go there.

What I meant to say is that I personally like to curl up with a good book. I get comfy in my favorite chair, wrap up in my Snuggie (HA!) and completely lose myself in a world of someone else’s making. Somehow, I just don’t get the same happy feeling holding a slim gadget in my hand and flipping from screen to screen. Where is the magic in that? Something feels lost in the transition to a dull flat screen.

A month ago, I read a 200 page novella on my cell phone. It was the only resource at my disposal to finish the document on my mini-vacation in North Carolina. And while I loved the story, I didn’t like reading it on my phone. It just wasn’t the same.

I was nostalgic for something more. I wanted the sweet sensation of a book in my hands, preferably hardback. I wanted the smell of the ink on the page. I wanted the potential for paper cuts as I turned each delicate page for myself. Yes, I confess, I wanted something less Eco-friendly.

And so, I continue to stock my shelves with various titled volumes. I’m not ready to let go of them. I might be conserving on printed documents in the office, I might be recycling as often as I am able, but I’m not ready to give up my books. Please don't judge me too severely.

What to Do With the Lemons?

We all know the saying: “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade."

But what if you aren’t crazy about lemonade at all? I’m not. I have friends that are crazy about it. Their first stop at the state fair is to get a lemon shake-up or a lemon freeze. Personally, I don’t get their obsession with lemon drinks, but I’m happy for them. I prefer water to lemonade, and that is saying a lot since I'm not a big water drinker.

So can we choose to do something else with our surplus of lemons in lieu of making lemonade? I think so. I mean, you have lemons to spare, and you don't want them to go to waste, right? So why couldn't you do something else with them? I could make lemon squares instead. I like those. A lemon meringue pie sounds pretty good right about now, too.

So, while I like the whole sour-to-sweet truth behind the lemons-to-lemonade thing, I really want to paraphrase the jingle for me and all those other non-lemonade-drinkers out there. I feel we need a voice, too.

How about…

When life hands you lemons, make lemon squares.

OR

When life hands you lemons, be grateful. Not everyone has lemons, but now you do.

That's All She Wrote

I'm not a great writer, but I love to write regardless. And there are moments when I am overtaken, burdened by the need of self-expression so that my soul aches to have a say. Often I read back over what I once thought was amazing, and I laugh at the crap before me. Most of the good stuff comes in lapses of mediocrity where a glint of brilliance shines through. It's meager, buried beneath the rubble of a churning mind, but it's still mine.

I'll never be a great poet. I don't have a poet's tortured soul. Maybe I'll get there, but I'm not really praying for calamity, a broken heart or relentless grief just to fuel my creative melancholy.

I'll probably never be the novelist I once aspired to be either. I'm not short on imagination really. I'm constantly day dreaming about the what-ifs, but I feel that the magic dies when I attempt to capture the dreams on paper. It seems so much more vivid in my head that I'm disappointed with the results.

But no matter, write I must. I write because I want to even if it is just for an audience of one. More and more, I'm writing what I know or rather what I'm learning and discovering on my journey. It might not be of interest to anyone else really, but that is not why I write. I write because I have the need to capture the moment like a painter with a canvas or like a photographer with a snapshot. I want to collect a memory and bottle it, and so I preserve it in black and white, and I can revisit again and again, like catching up with an old friend...

Watch Out, Martha!

I had a great weekend, but it was a working weekend. For two and a half days, I slaved away in the kitchen. STOP LAUGHING! I know you are just trying to picture the scene, but for once I’m being serious. I really worked hard. I made like a dozen varieties of cookies and candies so that I could make give away Christmas treats to my work colleagues.

On Saturday, I spent the day baking at with Jessica and Becky in Becky’s new home. I liked the experience of using new appliances. Very fun! But on Friday evening and again Sunday after church, I worked at my place on my own. Baking at my house can be stressful.

1. I don’t have much room to work with. I have a small one-person kitchen, and there is no pantry to speak of. So I was using my dining room table for rolling and cooling cookies as well as holding all of my supplies, too.

2. Speaking of supplies, I may or may not have gotten a bit carried away with purchasing said baking items this season. I currently have 2 bags of brown sugar, 2 bags of confectioner’s sugar, 7 bags of chocolate chips – all unopened, and I think I’m nearly done with my baking experiments for the present. AHEM!

3. As for the experimentation aspect, I learned that making fudge is an art form that I have NOT yet acquired. I wound up making a peanut butter/chocolate taffy-like substance that was supposed to be chocolate-peanut butter fudge. It smelled odd and tasted awful. Truly, it did. I'm not sure what new chemical compound I discovered, but I chose to dispose of it quickly rather than send it to a lab for further testing. HA!

4. I’m such a perfectionist. I was taking my baking far too seriously for a few minutes last night. It reminded me of my younger days when I would freak out if my cookies didn’t look right. Can we say anal retentive? It’s just cookies, Mel-Belle. Let it go. HA!

5. I finished up at 9 PM last night completely exhausted. My feet hurt, I had a paper cut, I had peanut butter in my ear (don't ask) and a smudge of chocolate on my chin, and I felt like I had been run over by a Mack truck. But on the up side, I slept like a baby last night. So it's all good.

Today my cohorts have enjoyed the treats, and so far, no one has gotten sick or been rushed to the ER. It's always a plus when people survive your cooking. HA! You better watch out, Martha Stewart! There is a new cook rising in the ranks...

Inquiring Minds Want to Know…

Why do some yogurts seemingly explode when you open them? This happens ever so often to yours truly. I am innocently about to partake in a delicious, healthy breakfast. I cautiously pop the seal and flip back the foil lid, and in doing so, I get splattered by drops of nutritious goo. One such occurrence happened here at my desk about 5 minutes ago. WOOHOO!! I know yogurt is good for me, but I wonder about the benefits to my clothing and hair?? Hmmmm...

MP3 Random Play

Today is just dragging by. You ever have one of those days? Well, I’m there today, and so I decided to put my MP3 player on all play just to see what I would hear. I guess the theory was that it would be some whimsical entertainment for my mind as I worked on some busy, mundane tasks at my desk. I think it worked. Hee hee!

First of all, I was blown away with the fact that I have 1192 songs on my player right now. WOA! That’s a lot of tunes on this tiny piece of equipment, but I love having all kinds of music at my fingertips depending on the day, my mood, the weather, the tension, etc. I am ultimately responsible for my own attitudes, but somehow music helps get me in the zone.

This was the first 10 songs to play on my random mix:

1. My Immortal (Evanescence)
2. Glow (Britt Nicole)
3. Lady in Red (Chris de Burgh)
4. Maniac (Flashdance soundtrack)
5. Hurt Me (LeAnn Rimes)
6. Do You Want to Know (Josh Wilson)
7. Sometimes Love (Chris Rice)
8. Can’t Stop Now (Keane)
9. You Are the Sun (Sara Groves)
10. Saints & Angels (Sara Evans)

Isn’t that hilarious? It just made me laugh. What a mix, and it could have been even crazier--considering the range of selections I have downloaded. Some big favorites in the mix and a couple of songs I forgot I even had. It was very entertaining for me on this chilly afternoon.

Mental Notes:
Rethink track number 5--never been that crazy about it.

The Joys of Autumn

I love fall. (Stop rolling your eyes.) I know I blog about this every year (sometimes more than once), but autumn is just awesome! The cooler temps, the crunchy leaves on the ground, the smell of pumpkins and apples in the air – it’s all good stuff.

This fall has started off with a bang in Indiana.

1. It’s been really cold already, and there has been a chilly wind almost every day. Plus the weather man is threatening snow this weekend. Hey, that reminds me. I need to make sure I can find my snow shovel. YIKES!
2. It’s been super rainy here of late. So those crunchy leaves I was talking about are a bit hard to find. You are more likely to feel a squish as you make your way across the soggy ground, but the trees are still pretty with their brilliant pallet of colors anyway.
3. Someone told me that there was a pumpkin shortage this season, and that if I found pumpkins, I should buy up quickly in bulk. Personally, I don’t usually use all that much pumpkin, but I do like to have a can or two on hand. Now before you make a mad dash to your local grocer, let me state for the record that I have not been able to confirm or negate this alleged pumpkin deficit. Both groceries I have visited this week have had whole pumpkins and canned pumpkin as well. So, it is quite possible that the lack of pumpkins might just be a rumor, but I do like to keep my dear readers informed.

Speaking of Indiana, the other night on the phone my Mom asked me if I was a Hoosier now. I literally gasped in horror at the suggestion, and she laughed at me. I don’t know why I continue to fight the status of becoming a Hoosier. I have been in this state for more than 13 years now, but somehow, I still like telling people that I’m originally from Michigan. After all, I was technically in Michigan for nearly 22 years, and so I guess it is only natural that the Great Lake State still has a piece of me and perhaps always will.

Anyway, back to fall. I’m glad it is here despite the chilly, wet conditions. This is my favorite season – the sights, the smells, the sounds (raking leaves, leaf blowers, rain pinging the window pane) and the tastes.

Even though I am pretty faithful to my Weight Watchers plan, I did nibble on some candy corn recently. I also learned a valuable lesson. Just because you like candy corn, does NOT mean that you will enjoy or appreciate every new candy corn flavor on the market. I tried the caramel apple and the sweet apple flavored candy corn varieties, and I think I’ll just stick to the regular stuff in the future. All candy corn is not created equal. It’s just a fact, my friends. Consider yourself warned!

Enjoy the season and savor some delicious candy corn for me, my friends!

It's That Time of Year Again

It’s that time of year again. Come on, you know what I’m talking about -- that “don’t-get-attached-to-any-new-TV-series” season. The chopping block has already been activated. Don't get attached, Mel!

After all, I’m still stunned at the cancellation of Eli Stone and conflicted that The Unusuals is gone for good. At least I still have Castle and Fringe to keep up on, too. They survived somehow. Now I totally understand why Cupid wasn’t renewed even though it did have some good moments, but come on, The Unusuals and Eli Stone were both quirky and filled with brilliant writing, etc. They will be missed, and I’m not sure that the Vampire Diaries, Parks & Recreation, and Community can fill that void, my friends. Fingers crossed!

In other news, I'm starting to lose interest in The Office. GASP! I know, it's rather shocking! I used to love that show, but something was off last season, and I'm sensing more of the same this time around. Hmmmmm... Anyway, I am glad I still have a bazillion crime shows to watch.

OK, on the flip side, I might consider cutting some shows myself or rather eliminating them from my DVR list. I have started considering the possibility that I might be watching just a wee bit too much television. GULP!

Laughing At Myself -- WAIT That Isn't Me!

My friend Lisa shared her “yearbook photos” with me based on this fun website, and then I just had to try it out for myself. I think my favorite is 1966, but 1978 is kinda growing on me, too. I was in stitches at these hilarious “yearbook” shots.

Feel free to check out my silly pictures or make your own using a snapshot of yourself. Lots of laughs!

Random Update...

1. I have slowly but surely found myself falling back into a former addictive habit. I know there are worse addictions out there, but still I don’t like having this habit, this need, if you will, in my life. I’ve got to cut myself off somehow and let go of this addictive influence. But the truth is that Diet Mountain Dew is getting me through the day right now, and I’m not ready for rehab or quitting cold turkey quite yet. Hey, do they make a caffeine patch? If not, someone should look into it.

2. I am quite captivated by the John Adams series that HBO made a couple of years ago. A co-worker recommended I try it on Netflix, and I have, and 2 episodes in, I am blown away. The personal sacrifices, the seemingly treasonous acts that our forefathers committed all in the name of freedom has me shocked and humbled. It was only through GOD’s grace that such a rag-taggle bunch of men formed a Continental Congress, built up a Continental Army, debated the issues in secret meetings and then finally agreed on going forward to seek independence from England. WOW! They did not take any step lightly. They weighed the cost, agonized over the decision, and it was only after months of discussion and further hostility by the British that the cause for independence gained ground and the Declaration of Independence was born. Now, I feel the need to do some more research on the subject. I’ll just add it to my list of “things to do.”

3. I went to hear St. Luke’s United Methodist Church Chancel Choir concert yesterday, and it was a fabulous, worship-filled performance. The chancel choir leaves at the end of this week for a European tour, where they will be performing their selections in various cathedrals throughout Austria and the Czech Republic. My friends, Barb and Lee, are in the choir, and I can’t wait to hear all their stories upon their return. Barb is going to scout out some touristy stuff for me, which will hopefully help me and my parents make some decisions for our own European excursion in 2010. We are currently looking into a river cruise down the Danube or the Rhine Rivers, etc. I like the idea of the luggage staying put and NOT having to change hotels every other night. Sounds like a good plan to me!

4. My 2 fellow England travelers are both potentially buying homes this summer. I am excited for them, but it has made for some interesting conversations. Everyone wants to know when I will be doing the same. Is it bad that I don’t have any desire to buy my own home right now? Because I just don’t. I asked my sister if I was crazy not to pursue a mortgage of my very own, and she reminded me that only in America is their a push for buying property. People all over the globe rent or lease space while home ownership is more rare, reserved for the upper class members of society. It was a good reminder for me. I know that renting may not seem like the wisest choice to some, but it is where GOD has me for the present, and hey, maybe it will keep me humble. Let us hope. Hee hee!

Doing the Friday Happy Dance

I’ve been doing the Friday happy dance all morning. Picture Steve Urkel! It’s not a pretty picture since I can’t dance, but I’m filled with glee and don’t really care. Not sure why, but my heart is light and carefree despite the gloomy weather outdoors, and I’m mentally doing cartwheels and somersaults as I go about my day. Those cartwheels are quite a chore for me even though they are just mental cartwheels. See, I never learned how to do cartwheels. Seriously, my P.E. teacher worked and worked with me, but it never took. Honestly, I don’t think I missed my calling. It just wasn’t meant to be.

A N Y W A Y, I’m quite elated that today is Friday. No big plans for the weekend or anything, but I’m ready to catch up on the essentials that keep this girl ticking: sleeping, reading, writing and getting creative. Sounds good to me!

As an indication of my current mood, I just randomly composed new lyrics to the tune of “Good Morning” from the 1952 musical classic Singin’ in the Rain. Are you ready for this? I don’t know. I think you will be quite impressed, and it took me all of 15 seconds tops to compose this. This could be my first Tony Award nomination, and I’m sharing it with just a select few. Are you touched or what?

It’s Friday. It’s Fri—day.
It’s great to make it here.
It’s Friday. Yep, Friday.
WOOHOO!!

Just blew your mind, didn’t I? HA!

That tune brings back some awesome memories. Those of you who knew me back in my college camp counselor days may recall that I was quite a morning person back in the day, especially during the weekend retreats. When I was at Camp Spearhead and removed from the restrictive dorm life, I was in my happy place, and every morning, I would jump out of bed just glad to be alive and FREE. It was at this time during my life that I was often heard singing the “Good Morning” song to help wake up my fellow counselors and the campers. The campers seemed to like it. In fact, I remember taking musical requests on occasion as I cheerily buzzed about the cabin. Thinking back, I’m guessing that my fellow counselors probably wanted to strangle me to end my chipper morning tune, but to my knowledge, no one ever tried to kill me. At least, I never knew of said plot to end my reign of morning musical madness.

To Mary, Cris, Brandi, Suzanne, Moldy, Jeanette, Frankie and BBJ: If you ever had to enter therapy or seek any medical treatment due to my musical whims or first-thing-in-the-morning cheerfulness, I feel somewhat responsible, and I wish you a full recovery. I’m sorry. If it helps any, looking back, even I am curious where I got the strength and stamina to energetically bound about the cabin like I did. Seriously. Do you recall how much sleep we would actually get at camp on those weekends? YIKES! Nowadays, I wouldn’t say that I am an early morning person any more. I’m more a mid-day person these days. Well, maybe not quite mid-day...but I’m not usually bubbling over until after 9 AM if that is any consolation. Maybe I have mellowed with age? HA!

Happy Friday! Enjoy your weekend!

How to Annoy Me...*

Call me on a sales call, a pledge drive for the local police widow's fund, or to survey me on my recent TV viewing habits. You're calling asking for my money, my pledge or my input. And then when I politely tell you no thank you or that I'm not able to contribute at this time, proceed to ask if...

1. You can talk to my Mom or an adult in the house, or
2. You can talk to my husband or the head of the household.

I'm not normally impolite on the phone. In fact, I try to use phone etiquette and be as pleasant as possible even when you call during dinner, the latest episode of Lost (after all the DVR is recording it anyway), or a new movie I was just dying to see (because my Pause button on the DVD player does work). I'll do my best to give you my full attention. BUT when you suddenly assume that I am not capable of making the decision or you don't like my answer and want a second opinion from AN ADULT, this is a sure-fire way to get me to either

a) bite your head off,
b) hang up on you, or
c) get so irked that I'll ask to be removed from future call lists.

GASP! I know...it's shocking, isn't it? Such a strong reaction! HA! OK, I don't get angry about much, but when it comes to not being taken seriously because of my voice or the way I look, I just turn from Gidget into something quite horrid. Come on, it's bad enough that I look like I'm 14 or maybe I'm up to 18 now. That would be nice. Yes, I'm short, and I have a round baby face, but I am a responsible human being, and I dress like other adults for the most part. So why am I mistaken for a teen?

OK, so back to the phone thing. I know my voice sounds young. I have heard myself before. I don't like the fact that I sound like a kid, but I can't do much to fix that either. This is the voice GOD gave me. No, I'm not blaming HIM. HE designed me this way for a reason, and I'm just going along with HIS plan.

I've tried to adjust the pitch, tone or accent to sound more grown up at times, but I can't do it all the time and keep a straight face. It's unnatural. Besides, I'm not British, and it doesn't take a Brit to notice that my accent is fake. HA! Now, I suppose I could talk all breathless and go all Marilyn Monroe on the phone, but going all breathy on the phone -- well, it's just plain inappropriate and not me at all. Hee hee!

So, I don't know what the answer is or if there really is a solution out there. I just know that it annoys me that people don't take me seriously on the phone even when I answer with strength, confidence and intelligence. And so today, I'm blogging to vent about this annoyance and clear the air. [sigh!} Now that was therapeutic. I feel better already.

*I'm borrowing from my friend Lauren's blog with this posting by discussing something that annoys me, which she often does. Thank you, Lauren, for indirectly inspiring this posting!*

For the Record: I Am Alive

I just wanted to get that out there. People tend to get a little nervous about me when I don’t blog for a full week or more these days, but I am happy to report that I do have a pulse or did when last I checked.

For about 2 weeks, I have been pretending that I did not have a sinus infection. I figured if I just ignored the symptoms, sooner or later the infection would just call it quits and leave me be. Surprisingly, that never seems to work for me, and it failed again. [sigh!] So earlier this week, I dropped the sham and headed to the doctor. Yep, it was speedily confirmed. I had a doozie of a sinus infection and am now heavily medicated with antibiotics and watching the clock. When you have to take 1 pill every 12 hours, another pill 3 times a day, and still another pill 5 times a day, I’ve found it easier to just make a schedule to follow. Come on, this is me we’re talking about. Organization is the name of the game, and so of course, I’d come up with some way to maintain this strict medication regimen. Hee hee!

There is not much else to report really. Remember, I’ve been medicated, and so the week has been a bit of a blur anyway. HA!

In funny news, my sister Barbara posted the original portraits that her 2 eldest children drew of their Aunt Mel. I'm still not sure if I should feel flattered or not by these unique caricatures that Jacob and Grace drew. HA! But they sure make me laugh. Check them out.

Life in Mel’s World Drums On

Sometimes I think my world resembles a Richard Scarry book. Remember those classics? The scenes filled with animals going about their routines in the town aptly named Busytown. I love those books. Every time I flip through them, I see something I had missed before. Lowly Worm was my favorite. He still makes me smile. Cool! I just found this intro clip from the animated series, and it brought back good memories. The books were always better though.

Hmmmm...let’s see. What do I need to update you all on?

1. This week has just flown by. My co-worker is out on vacation for 10 days, and so I’m covering her desk and my own until March. WHEW! [Deep breath] This is a bit of a practice run for what things will be like later this spring when this same co-worker will be out for 2+ months on maternity leave. YIKES! Somehow, things are being managed, and we are all surviving just fine; however, I do head home each night more tired than the night before. But don’t you feel sorry for me. After all, it’s Friday, and this girl is excited about a low-key weekend ahead. My jam-packed weekend routine includes sleeping, breathing, maybe doing some laundry, catching up on my DVR programs, going to church on Sunday—oh and eating. WOOHOO! I like the sounds of that schedule. OK, so I’ll probably get bored and will head out to run errands anyway, but that’s just how I’m wired. I’m meant to be doing something most of the time.

2. Two of the attorneys I work for took me to lunch on Wednesday this week for my birthday. They had desserts brought around for our table, and I confess that I had a ½ cup of French vanilla ice cream. [There. Feels good to get that off my chest.] Let me just say that I had forgotten how wonderful and rich real ice cream tastes. WOW!

3. I’m in a new Bible book study with my friend Heidi and the ladies at her church in Plainfield. We’re working through Bad Girls of the Bible. Catchy title, eh? It’s been interesting so far. My verdict is still out on this book, but I’m working my way through it week-by week. We'll see what I think later on. Like I told my sister recently, I don’t always have to love an author to glean truth from their books. GOD is able to work if we let HIM.

4. I’m crazy about Netflix. One of my other attorneys got me a gift-subscription for Christmas, and I’m loving it. I come home after a busy day at the office, ready to heat up my baked potato and leftover chili. But WAIT! there it is. I have a bright red envelope in my mailbox, and suddenly all is right with the world again. [sigh!] Doesn’t take much to move me apparently. And men say that women are so difficult and hard to please--WHATEVER...

5. And before my sister comments on it, I want to point out that I seem to have a new craze for making numbered lists--even on my blog. I've been sending my sister catch-up emails with a numbered list of items I'm sharing with her, and she has dared to make fun of it. Can you believe that? I know, it's shocking that she would mock yours truly especially since I am overly-sensitive, but she did. I forgave her, but then I'm always good like that. Good at accepting other faults and forgiving them with open arms... [GAG!] You all know I'm kidding, right?

Ok, so this blog post has been rather random and maybe just a bit warped, but then so is your hostess. I wish you all a fabulous weekend! May GOD bless you and keep you!

How Do You Say...

In the office, we have quite a hodge-podge of accents both globally and from the USA. Here in the IP section, I continually get re-educated on regional dialects in the USA especially, and I find it amazing.

For example, my friend Stephanie is from Kentucky, and she moved back to Louisville a few years ago. My friend Kristen and I planned a weekend excursion to visit her, and when I told my co-worker Dena about my trip, she hastily corrected me on the correct pronounciation of Louisville.

“Not Louey-vill, Mel. It’s Loo-ih-vull.”

Now Dena is from Tennessee, and so I trusted her advice, and after a few day of intense phonetic training, I finally got my Midwestern tongue to say it as she suggested. The silly thing is that once I got the pronounciation down, I had to say the word extremely fast so that I wouldn’t screw it up. It quickly became a one-and-a-half syllable word for me. Dena joked that she was tempted to say Gesundheit each time I said the city since my pronounciation was more like a sneeze than a word. HA!

Well, fast forward a couple of years, and we get a new attorney in the office from Louisville, and being the Southern gentleman that he is, it takes him a while to finally correct my pronounciation and that of Dena’s for his beloved hometown.

“Slow it down, Mel. It’s Loo-uh-vull. It should just roll off your tongue.”

So I’ve been practicing the correct recitation ever since, but it has brought up a couple more questions in my mind. Does that mean that Nashville should be Nash-vull? Knoxville be Knox-vull? Asheville be Ash-vull? And what about Greenville? I lived there for 4 years, and I don’t recall anyone correcting my speech and suggesting that I call it Green-vull. Or does it depend upon which of the Carolina Greenville’s you are referring? Now, I’m confused.

I’m a Midwest girl. It is what it is. I grew up with that nasal Michigan thing going for me, but then I went to college in South Carolina and have now lived in Indiana for 12+ years. Honestly I’m not sure where I sound like I’m from. When I’m tired, the Michigan comes out in me. Words like car become different, and it’s a dead give-away. But ordinarily under proper resting conditions, I’m not sure what a linguistic expert would say of my speech. Would he pinpoint the Michigan thing instantly? Would he sense the Carolina influence? Would he detect the Hoosier-isms?

Oh well! I don’t know any Professor Higgins types to investigate it further, and let’s face it, I’m no Eliza Doolittle either. I just think it’s fascinating to study how people say the same word from location to location. I love the differences which make up this melting pot I am pleased to call home.

Vertically Challenged

On my drive to and from Michigan, I kept seeing the billboards for the child safety seat law about how children under 4'9" need to be in a booster seat while riding in a car. For some reason that bugged me.

You all know that I'm short. Let's face it. I am, and I've always been so. At my tallest, I was 5 feet and half an inch. Growing up, my goal was always to get taller than my Mom, who was 5 foot 2 1/2 inches, but I never made it that far no matter what I did. I tried stretching, running, riding my bike, but to no avail, I was left vertically challenged. I'm the shortest one in my immediate family, and my nieces and nephews are quickly passing me up. There are even wagers going for when the youngest among them [Jacob (6), Grace (3) and Harrison (11 months)] will pass me. I know, it's completely painful to discover your family is betting against you, right. It's devastating really. It's just my burden to bear, I guess. [sigh!] Hee hee!

So now I see all these billboard signs around Indiana and Michigan about children needing to be in booster seats until they are 4'9", and it gets me pondering. At my last doctor appointment, my doctor informed me that I was just a hair over 5 feet tall now. YIKES! WHAT? I've already lost nearly half an inch since college. What happens if I lose a couple more inches? Am I destined to be in a booster seat by the time I reach 40? Can you drive in one of those? Don't laugh. Can you?

I already know I'm doomed to be that little old lady driver someday. You know who I'm talking about--the one that can barely see over the steering wheel...like the woman in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. That's gonna be me in a few years, and hey, maybe a booster seat would help the situation, but I'm just not looking forward to it. It seems insulting to have to sit in a booster seat at my age. I mean I'm already tempted to use one of those boosters at the theatre to prop my short self up just in case. I mean, what if some super model sits right in front of me? How will I get to see the performance? It's a real struggle.

Many of you probably don't realize what it's like for short people. The world is being built for the super-sized, and it's discrimination against those less fortunate with height. Kitchen cabinets are blatantly constructed for the taller humans among us. And what about the aisle shelves at Walmart? You don't know the lengths I've gone through to get a can of beans from the top shelf. You just might see me sliding a spatula out of my purse for just such a purpose. And why is it that the diet pop is always on the top row? What you think that only tall people are watching their figures? That's just insulting. And don't even get me started on cars...sometimes I can barely reach the pedals in a rental car. That just hurts.

And let's not forget Randy Newman's controversial Short People from 1977. I tear up just thinking about it.

Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
To live

They got little hands
And little eyes
And they walk around
Tellin' great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet...

Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody
To love

They got little baby legs
And they stand so low
You got to pick 'em up
Just to say hello
They got little cars
That go beep, beep, beep
They got little voices
Goin' peep, peep, peep
They got grubby little fingers
And dirty little minds
They're gonna get you every time
Well, I don't want no short people
Don't want no short people
Don't want no short people
'Round here

What did short people ever do to him? On behalf of my fellow vertically challenged citizens, I am outraged. I'm ready to compose a song right now in protest about the giants among us. NAH! I'm kidding. I love that song, and it makes me laugh every time. Besides, Randy has more than redeemed himself by brilliantly scoring Toy Story and numerous others, for which I thank him.

All right, so I'm short. There. I've said it more than once now. My therapist would be proud. Let me say it again...I'm short. It's a fact. It is what it is. OK, so the world around me is always reminding me that I've got height issues. Big deal! I'm only rarely offended by short jokes these days, and if I am...well, you better just watch out. You might find me biting your ankles.

Flaming Up

This is courtesy of my daily dose of Hungry Girl (the email was sent 12/22/2008):

"A new cologne called Flame has arrived, courtesy of our pals at Burger King. The scent will have guys smelling like juicy Whoppers with just a single spritz. Soooo, if you want your man to smell flame-broiled and meaty, click here..."

OK, I confess it. I like the smell of flame-broiled burgers just fine. In fact, it's been months since I've indulged in having a real burger, and it sounds pretty darn good right about now, but this ad disturbs me. I know what you’re thinking: Mel, you’ve been disturbed for a while now. I can’t contest that, but the fact is that seeing this site today sent chills up and down my spine. No, REAL chills, people! If you click on the bottle and get “sprayed” several times, you’ll see what I mean. That Burger King head disturbs me anyway, and with him seductively beckoning from the fireplace like that, well, that just tips me over the edge. I’m officially creeped out now.

Nothing smells romance like a flame-broiled burger, right? AHEM! But do you really want your man smelling like a whopper? It’s a rhetorical question. Don’t answer that. I don’t want to know. I mean, is it safe though? What if you are arm-in-arm walking down the street, and you pass someone who is really hungry and that person starts to chase you thinking that one of you has food? OK, maybe I've watched too many zombie movies lately, but it does make one wonder if Burger King has done proper testing on this substance. I see the potential for disaster.

And don’t plan to go to the zoo with that stuff sprayed on your neck, or you just might get attacked by a large cat or a hungry grizzly bear. “Death by Cologne” might seem like a romantic headline now. And you might laugh at one of the following headlines for their pure comedic value: “The Scent of a Whopper Can Kill” or “Meaty Man Falls Prey to the Hungry Lioness.” But, I highly doubt it would be a pleasant experience or the way you would really like to be remembered by those you leave behind.

So I say NO to this scent. Men: it might seem like a good idea at the time, but I think it could be a fatal mistake. DANGER! DANGER! There are lots of thin model-types that are living on 1 potato chip per day, and there are far too many women on diets who have gone for months without a juicy burger, and if you walk into a room with that scent on, things could get really ugly fast. Be careful. It’s a jungle out there.

Off in Dream World...

Mel loves words. You all know this about me, right? I'm a sucker for a well-turned phrase, an amusing anecdote, a romantic couplet, a brilliant comeback, or a delicious line in a movie or book. I keep a small little journal of my favorite movie lines and quotes so that I can whip them out at any minute for inspiration. Hey, you never know! And when it comes to music, I can't just listen to the words of a song. Actually, I prefer to read the lyrics completely first just to make sure I have captured the essence of a song BEFORE I hear it.

I'm a longtime AWAD [A.Word.A.Day] subscriber. Every weekday morning there is a gift waiting for me in my email inbox at work, a new word to chew over. It's wonderful. My favorite word this week is "doolally."

I'm an editor by nature. I can't leave things well enough alone. I have to tweak each line and attempt to get the phrase perfected before I can move on. Trust me, the editor in me has completely revised this posting at least twice already, and I'm not done yet.

I keep post-its with me all the time to jot down ideas, a phrase to blog about or something silly someone told me. Words are my life! I enjoy them, they enthrall me, and I tend to obsess about them.

Now, I don't know if you all remember having to diagram sentences in school, but it's something I recall. Subject on the left, verb on the right with a straight line dividing them... It wasn't my favorite part of English class, but I didn't really dread it either. I certainly haven't thought about it in ages, and yet somehow it has been haunting me.

The other night I woke up from a dream in a cold sweat. I was completely in a panic and glad to find myself tucked away in my bed and that it was all just a dream. Why you may ask? Well, because I was obviously having a terrible nightmare in which I had no memory of how to diagram a particular sentence. Horror of horrors, right? I mean, can you imagine the embarrassment that I was feeling and the relief that it was just a dream?

This was a first for me, not that I couldn't diagram a sentence, but that I was dreaming about it. I mean why can't I dream about falling or flying or something everyone else dreams about? Why was I dreaming about forgetting how to diagram sentences correctly? Most of my dreams are insane or rather incoherent. That's nothing new, but usually when I wake myself up in a panic it's because I'm afraid I'm being attacked by a spider the size of a bear or that I slept through light bell or was late for chapel and was going to get demerits. [OK, so most of my nightmares have to do with spiders or Bob Jones University. Well, apparently, BJU left quite a mark on my psyche because I have a dream like that at least once a month. HA! Hmmmm...what could it mean. OK, don't overanalyze it, Mel! Just let it go.]

So ever since my diagramming dream, I've been trying to recall all the rules for it just so that I'd be ready for my next nightmare. I googled "diagramming sentences" this morning, and some of it came back to mind pretty quickly. So it wasn't completely lost from my memory. But then I found this link, which made me laugh. It is a sentence diagram of the Preamble to the U.S. Constitution. You can also find the rest of the U.S. Constitution diagrammed for you as well as the Declaration of Independence, President Lincoln's Gettysburg address, etc. WOW! Feel free to check it out but not if you are afraid of having a bad dream. HA!