The English countryside has always been my favorite future destination for as long as I can remember. I picture myself meandering along the green hills and keenly admiring the estate homes and gardens…camera in hand, of course.
My sister has more than once reminded me that the England of movies is far from the England that tourists encounter, and that perhaps my visit to England is best left to my romantic impressions from literature and my vivid imagination.
After all…
1. There won’t be any swashbuckling gentleman vowing for my hand in marriage or escorting me to wonderful parties. This is really a shame, need I say more. But then I too like Jane have stayed single because I have yet to meet my own beloved Captain Wentworth or the ever-elusive Mr. Darcy.
2. I won’t be found waltzing along a ballroom floor. We all know this girl can’t dance. I have no rhythm—just ask my sister, who became my own personal metronome when I was learning to play the piano. And as for my dance moves, I’ve watched myself in the mirror, and it’s not a pretty sight. Picture the moves of The Egyptian, The Robot and The Funky Chicken all rolled into one grotesque scene. Rather tragic in of itself.
3. I can’t elegantly cantor across the countryside on a horse. I don’t resemble anything slightly elegant on a horse, and I don’t sit nicely in the saddle. (Actually, I’m not sure what that means, but I know I don’t qualify.) My horse riding abilities are rather limited, to say the least, and I usually end up practically strangling the horse by my tight grip on the reins. I’m far too engrossed in my mere survival astride this massive beast to consider my posture or “seat.”
4. My walks across the countryside would be more than slightly inhibited by the fact that I am completely out of shape. I would certainly not keep up with Lizzie and her delightful daily romps at Rosings Park. Yes, I think Lizzie would have to abandon me along the path after about 3 miles as I suffered yet another near fatal asthma attack brought on by far too many carbohydrates in my 31 years and my lack of regular exercise. I’d be winded and wheezing—a pathetic sight indeed.
5. And then there’s the idea that everyone seems to state—doesn’t it rain a lot in England? Maybe so, but the sun does shine sometimes—even in England, right? I’m convinced it does, and so while I’m cooped up indoors awaiting more pleasant weather for touring the countryside, I can re-read my favorite parts of Jane Austen’s books and be struck anew with the freshness and vitality of her words 200 years since she wrote them.
Maybe not today, tomorrow or even next year, but someday I plan to take that trip to England. Until then, I can revel in the magic of British literature, television, theatre and movies so accessible to me. And tonight I will get to see the newest rendition of Pride and Prejudice on the big screen. [SIGH!] Happy thought indeed…
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