Inside My Head

I haven’t stopped thinking about Mr. Smell Good. Isn’t that weird? I know nothing about him—other than where he is employed and what he looks like, and yet I still can’t get him out of my head. I’m highly curious about him.

What is he really like?
What makes him laugh?
What does he feel deeply about?
Does he have a personal relationship with GOD?

I’m sure it’s just a temporary thing. It’s an adult crush, and eventually I’ll move past it and won’t think about him anymore. It’s just a matter of time…But right now, there is part of me that wonders about him often and wishes for the opportunity to know more.

Today I went on the Dayton Art Institute website and found a contact page with an email address listed for contacting someone in security. Do you know I seriously contemplated writing that person an email introducing myself and asking about Mr. Smell Good! I feel slightly pathetic.

Here I am 32 years old, and the most exciting thing to happen to me on the male-female perspective in over a year and a half is that I encountered a nice looking guy at an art museum. And here I am, dreaming about what it would be like to meet him. Now, I realize that this is probably not all really about Mr. Smell Good. It’s just the desire to have someone else in my life.

Hello, GOD! It’s me—Melanie. I’m 32, I’m a rather romantic and passionate single, and I’m dying to be loved! You gave me these desires as you gave them to others. Now what would you like me to do with them while you choose to leave them unfulfilled? I’m trying to be grateful for what I already have, LORD. I really am. But these desires are still here. I’ve asked you to take them away, and I’ve tried to give them back to you, but still they survive deep inside. What do you want of me, LORD?