I languish long and hard over what to put into my Christmas newsletter, better known as Mel’s Monologue. Do I include this or that? Do I pretend that all is rosy or do I go with gutsy honesty? How should my tone read—sanguine or sarcastic? Who will my letter offend this year? Such worthy dilemmas…
The truth is that I don’t consider my life all that significant to anyone else other than myself. I mean, I’m happy I’m alive and still kicking. I like my life personally, and I find it exciting enough for me. It's a full life to me, but I wonder what is worth sharing each year with others. And it all comes back to comparison. In comparison to the lives of those around me, I think my life must appear to be rather dull and not worth reading about…
I didn’t buy a house this year or make a big move. I’m still living in my one-bedroom apartment—killing every spider or bug I find. But you know what—I love my apartment. It’s just right for me. So what that I’ve been here for 5 years now! This is home!
No big news this year about my having a baby (miraculous conception indeed) or finding myself a man! Yeah, the baby really would be more than a surprise! And OK, so John Cusack is the only man I’ve been seeing of late. But that’s just because I’ve been re-watching all of his movies and once again loving his ability to play quirky characters and wondering where are all the good men gone…
I spent a lot of my time on my own this year at home (in my one-bedroom apartment). I opted to pull out of a singles group at my church that seemed to be dying off and decided to back off some other social activities as well. I wouldn’t quite say I am a total recluse yet, but I’m definitely enjoying life alone. But I did add myself back as a volunteer at the IMA, one of my favorite places in the city, and so that should be another point in my favor. OK, so I still watch a lot of movies and read a lot of books and write a lot—all on my own. But if I’m happy and content with the way things are, who am I hurting? Am I supposed to pretend that there is more to life than what GOD has already given me? YEAH! I’m done with that. This is as good as it gets for me…at this time. I'm not complaining, and so why should anyone else complain about it?
I’ve made lots of cards and scrapbooked a great deal this year. Truth is that I probably made well over 500 cards this year, and I’ve loved it. I’ve given lots of them away, and that’s part of the joy of making them. And as for scrapbooking, I still have my own personal style. I’m not into fluffy or pretty scrapbooking. For me it’s still about the story behind each picture and not the pretty paper or specialty items to coordinate the scene. It’s still about the story behind each smile…
And so as I start to compose yet another newsletter, I smile a wry smile and savor the delights of being alive. [JUST BREATHE!!!] Yes, this is enough… Maybe it's not enough in the mind of someone else, but my CREATOR and I are the only ones that it should matter to. They have their own lives. GOD gave me this one. I'm grateful, and I'm sticking to it.
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