He sits there across the room in his spot. I sit tables away in mine. I catch him looking. He catches me looking. I catch him again, and this time he doesn't look away. We hold that glance for what seems like an eternity, and then I look away.
This our routine. Our daily ritual, if you will. And I find myself looking forward to this daily encounter with anticipation. Pathetic or not--it makes me smile! Maybe it shouldn't matter, but it is nice to be noticed. Nice to feel even for a fraction of a second that someone else is aware that you are there--even if he won't talk to you, won't approach you, and doesn't know your name. You still have that half a moment of recognition...
THEY say that our world is getting smaller, and I think that's because of the global scope. People are traveling more around the world, I suppose. And what happens here supposedly affects the rest of the globe...at least that's what THEY tell us!
But to a single person I think "the world getting smaller" has an entirely different connotation. In a world of pairs--of he and shes, he and hes, she and shes and so on--it does seem smaller. Smaller in the fact that everyone around you seems to be hooking up. It's as if you are a dying breed or something and you are watching the last of your kind slip away. And let's confess here, that does mean fewer possibilities. Your world is shrinking in on you.
So those rare weak-in-the-knees moments--those curious glances and random smiles--don't come along as often any more. You wish you weren't so desperate or so eager for them. You wish they didn't touch you as deeply as they do or make you think about them afterwards. After all, it's just a glance.
But I think it's just as silly to deny the fact that you do want them! To pretend like you aren't touched or aren't affected. After all you aren't so different from everyone else. You just want to love and be loved!
No comments:
Post a Comment