What are you looking for in a mate?
Do you like older men? How old is too old?
Do you like blondes?
Is tall, dark and handsome really your ideal?
Would you be interested in a man who has been married before? What about a man with kids?
Actually it was a rather interesting conversation to listen to, and believe me I was doing more listening than talking. I would no sooner start to answer a question when they would throw another one at me or start answering the other question for me. I listened with interest and a great deal of laugher as they discussed what I "wanted" without much input from me. People are funny that way!
I think my answers would have been quite a bit different...
What are you looking for in a mate?
A male. A single male interested in women! I just don't see it working any other way...
Do you like older men? How old is too old?
I actually do prefer older men. I always have and especially now. Older men are settled and more complete in themselves. I'm not after a sugar daddy here, and so I guess 10-12 years older would be my limit. OK, maybe 20 at the most!
Do you like blondes?
I'm not against blondes, after all it is my current shade. But I confess more of an attraction to dark hair.
Is tall, dark and handsome really your ideal?
And who's idea isn't? While I think it is important to be attracted to your mate, it's not the only thing that can draw you to another person. Height is something I lack, and so I've always wanted to meet and marry a taller man. [He doesn't have to be all that tall to be taller than I am.] Integrity is a big quality I am in search of. Intelligence has always been a draw in the past, too. If you can keep my mind engaged, it's a huge positive!!
Would you be interested in a man who has been married before? What about a man with kids?
These are always hard questions. I think most of would admit that we would want to be the only spouse of another. Few people really plan on divorce, and while it is more common for divorced people to remarry, it is still a hard decision to come by. And when children are involved, it is even stickier. I wouldn't want an ex to deal with and it would be difficult having to work out custody issues as well. I'd prefer less headaches.
It strikes me as curious that since taking on my new job within a completely different environment, my singleness has come up as the topic of conversation more and more, and believe me, I'm not the one bringing it up. I'm not saying that I don't ever wear my singleness as a badge of honor or as a chip on my shoulder depending on the situation...because I must confess to having done both on different occasions. But at work, I've been pretty much silent about it until someone else brought it up, and now, it's the buzz in the office. In the past, I haven't experienced this much curiosity into my marital status on the job.
And I think it has to do with that all too familiar saying about the "grass being greener on the other side..." Just as I like to hear about marriage and hear about what brings people together, they (my married coworkers) like to hear about my single life and the opportunities I have. One coworker told me today that she likes to live vicariously through my encounters. Not sure how to take that, but I think she meant it in a good way!
As humans, I guess it's proof that we are never completely satisfied. We get one thing that we think will fill us, but it never does. So we reach after another and another -- always with the same result. Nothing completes us that way! Could it be that we're trying to put a series of bandaids on the gaping hole deep within us? Or could it be that there never was a hole to begin with?
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