My friend, Jessica, emailed today to tell me that her new friend, Jim, was at the July 4th Singles Picnic that I went to. And so, I've been racking my brain trying to figure out if can figure out who he was. That was a busy picnic after all. There were mostly new faces there, and so in my hostess role, I was a bit of a social butterfly--going from table or group to group introducing myself and saying hi. I met so many new people that I couldn't keep them straight, but it was fun, and I like that kind of stuff. I now think I know who Jim is, and he did seem like a nice guy. He certainly seems to be into Jessica. He has called her every night this week so far...just to chat, make plans for their Friday night date, etc. He seems really into her, and I'm glad. I'm living vicariously through her...
So, I've been thinking more about Howard lately. Does anyone know any single guys named Howard? It sure would be funny to meet one. [Hint, hint! I am now taking referrals...]
Anyway, I was pondering the thought today that even if I met Howard this week and we started dating, we'd still have those 3 months or so of awkward getting-to-know-you dating. Then would come those 6 months to a year of actual steady dating (or longer depending on how things go before you really got serious), and then there would be the serious phase and an engagement, and then the wedding planning... See, I don't like to think about that. Because even if this all starts tomorrow, it’s gonna take forever. It's still a wonder to me that people still hook up at all! It sounds like an exhausting couple of years to me.
I guess it is especially frustrating when you are ready--you've been ready, and you're simply tired of waiting for something else to happen. The truth is that you see time slip away, and you’d just like to know if it will ever happen for you. If it won’t, you’d like to know. You’d like to kick hope to the curb and move on. But until then, you can’t help it. Hope resurfaces from time to time, and you find yourself dreaming of more. No one could accuse you of holding back just because you are single! You're out living your life, enjoying it—traveling, meeting people, staying busy, pursuing hobbies and other interests, etc. But you do want more. You’re happy with your present circumstances, but you have that desire to love and be loved by another! You can’t escape it.
You’ve tried the hermit lifestyle in years past, but you find that deep inside you are a people person. So you continue to immerse yourself in society. You pray and wait, and you discover the obvious once again—you are a one-person unit living in a couples or family-pack sized world! Everything around you reminds you that you are unattached--TV commercials, sitting in church, grocery shopping, eating dinner out with friends, reading books, watching movies, letters from friends, etc. You’re reminded regularly that you are single.
And remember that relationship process I mentioned earlier? Well, I'm task-oriented. I’m driven to follow a process and get things done. And this is one project I want to have started already, but I can’t get one date once in a while--let alone a regular every week occurrence with the same guy! I want to be on the journey and headed on my merry way...but I can't even get on the boat and there isn't a boat in sight. I'm waiting on the dock, binoculars in hand as I scan the horizon for signs of a boat, and there is nothing. NADA! No freighters, no cruise boats, no speedboats, no paddleboats or canoes. Not even a kayak in sight! [Not sure where the boat analogy came into this, but it did!]
Let me put it this way...you know how they say you have to date a lot of frogs to find your prince? Well, what if you aren’t meeting the frogs either? What if you seem to have gotten thrown in the wrong pond? What then? Do you migrate to another pond? Hmmmm...
Howard, I think you’re in the wrong pond! Can you hop over to mine soon? PLEASE??
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