Friday, December 4, 2009

Missing Authoress Makes a Public Statement

Rumor: The author of this blog appears to be missing in action.
AHEM! Let me address this matter before a mass panic starts. The facts are these:
1. She is alive. DUH! She is typing this. Yes, she is alive (or was at the time of posting at least), and she is physically well (with the exception of a cold coming on). Not sure why this is all in the third person, but so be it. She is on a roll now.

2. She has been extremely busy with work (transitioning into a new role come January, training replacement, covering for a sick co-worker), holiday travels (Kokomo and Peru count as holiday travel, right?), Christmas shopping and planning (New Year's Resolution: do ALL shopping for 2010 online), packing and preparing for second LDM Retreat this weekend (WOOHOO!!), etc.

3. She has been reading the first 2 books of the Twilight series again. Hey, she had to be ready for the 2nd movie (New Moon), which unfortunately totally bombed in her humble opinion, but that is another story. Books are always better anyway!

4. She is pondering what the heck to put into her Christmas letter. Hey, this was a wild and wacky year! There is great debate as to whether or not she will write a letter at all. And if she does compose a stanza or two, what will she share and what will she choose to keep to herself? So many possibilities...

5. She has been caught talking to herself several times in recent days. And while, truth be told, this is nothing new or out of the ordinary, her co-workers are starting to observe her more closely. Thus, her mental health may be in question.

6. She is reclusing just a wee bit perhaps. Once she finished re-reading the Twilight books, she moved on to the million or so other books on her shelves waiting to be read. Who needs a man anyway? If you have a good book, all is right with the world! [Mental Note: schedule more counseling sessions immediately! HA!]

7. She is NOT barricaded in her flat, and she is interacting with others, even outside of work. She has spent lots of time playing with Thorn (her sister's dog), coloring pictures with her youngest niece and 2 youngest nephews, baking or preparing holiday treats with her sister, playing games and going Black Friday shopping with family, etc.

8. However, she is NOT fine. She was told by a male colleague to stop telling people that she is fine because apparently women never mean it when they say that. Point Taken: She is NOT fine. She is not sure what she is, but fine she is NOT.

9. She still has her sense of humor, warped though it may be.

10. She begs your patience as she attempts to go into the holiday blitz without too many ill side effects: such as obsessively eating chocolate, avoiding people completely, incessantly humming "All By Myself," buying Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches by the crate, cheering on the Grinch, etc. She will survive, and she hopes to return to her regularly scheduled blog shortly. Thank you!

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