Writing My Own Story

I was having a conversation with a colleague the other day, and she commented that she considered me to be an optimistic and upbeat personality. I thanked her for her kind words, but inside other thoughts were churning. Was that really the case? Wasn’t the opposite more apparent in my life as of late? I certainly didn’t feel like I was a Pollyanna.

OK. So I do try to be positive and see the bright side of life, but lately, I’ve been struggling to do so. My silver lining was tainted. My glass was half full, but there was a serious crack along one side, and there was most definitely a leak. The show tunes normally running through my head were less amiable than usual.

I didn’t feel pessimistic. I didn’t feel depressed. I didn’t feel much of anything really. In fact, I wasn’t participating much in my own life. I was watching from the sidelines again or letting my understudy run the show. I don’t know how that happens, but sometimes, I seem to forget that my life is my own story. I’m not just reading a novel where I have no impact on the outcome. No, I’m a pivotal character here, and I need to step in and intervene, change the tone, and make some drastic revisions to my own character before I forget my course.

Now unfortunately, there isn’t time to do a complete edit and re-write the last couple of weeks. I’m left with those filler pages. I can’t erase them completely, but I also can’t wallow or beat myself up about them either. I need to jump back into my story, savor the highs and lows, seek out new characters without forcing clear definitions, actively interact and engage in the other stories around me, and allow GOD to create an even better story line than I could ever imagine.

Hmmmm? I wonder what will happen next? It's rather exciting. Too bad, I can't read ahead...