Needing a Do-Over

I’d like to go back in the recent past and re-do a “getting to know you” moment. I’d like another crack at that conversation, a second chance to make a first impression.

I didn’t say anything I regret. I wasn’t rude. I wasn’t unkind. I wasn’t much of anything really. I clammed up. I was quiet and a bit reserved without trying to be. I listened and responded appropriately, but I was not myself at all.

I was more Jane than Lizzie.

Call it nerves of attraction, I guess. I was intrigued. I was curious. Very curious. But I’m not sure I portrayed that what with my catatonic pose and serene demeanor. I shut down and retreated into my head out of angst. I did little to contribute to the conversation other than a nod or two, a trance-like smile and a couple of yes or no answers. I gulped and seemingly swallowed my personality.

I’m laughing at myself. I am. And while I don’t know if I’ll ever get a do-over with this particular person, I’d like to imagine I could…