“I’d rather argue with you than make love to someone else.”I’ve heard a take on this line in several movies, and I heard it again last night as I was channel surfing U-verse. (Yes, I’m still using my blog to subtly plug this optimal product. Call 1-800-ATT-2020 now.) Anyway, that line gets to me every time, more so than sappy sentimental dribble. I love it. It makes me smile. It feels real.
Relationships are work.I hear all this from friends and family quite often, and I don’t think they are sending me subliminal messages (Run, Mel, run!) or trying to discourage me from pursuing others options away from the single life (Head for a convent, Mel).
Commitment is tough.
Marriage isn’t easy.
However, I believe they are reminding me that marriage is not the perfect life I have pictured in my head. It’s more like what happens after the movie is over, and it goes on for years and years. When the honeymoon is over, all the flaws and quirks come out in full force to play. And the "players," if you will, are stuck in their roles by contract. They can't get out without great loss, usually on both sides. It can’t be easy living with another person day in, day out. Even I know that; hence my choice to be roommate free (well, except for the house plants).
And yet, most people in a relationship say it’s worth it, and I confess I still want it, however much it kills me to admit it. So in another time or place, I hope to bump into a man, a real man not just someone in my head or the books I've read. But a real live person I can argue and discuss life with. Someone who will be honest with me and call me on my crap. Someone who will challenge me, not just adore me. Adoration would be nice, but I don’t need a yes man. I need a Honey-I-love-you-but-get-over-yourself-man.
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for...*
[Thanks, U2*! It might be a bit old school, but I still love this song.]
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