- Attending a friend’s get together even though you could use a couple hours of time to your self after the insane week you have had
- Going to several graduation open houses even though you don’t know the graduates very well at all or perhaps you really only know a cousin of the graduate’s parents' friend, etc.
- Assisting with a move even though you are personally exhausted and should be resting up for next week’s busy project week
- Volunteering for a church work day event because very few signed up on the list
All of these events can be good and truly could make positive impact in the lives of others. Not to mention that our participation would probably be appreciated. But what about our motives? Why are we there?
I often catch myself with less-than-perfect motives. OK, let's face it -- I’m a flawed, sinful creature. Of course, my motives are often going to be purely selfish. And while I don’t want my motives to keep me from interacting with others or seeking out service opportunities, I find that examining my motives can sometimes help me focus and evaluate my priorities.
- Am I helping my friend move because I might need some similar help in the near future? Am I physically able to help out this weekend? Or on the flip side, am I not helping because he didn’t help with my own move, and I'm still a wee bit bitter about it?
- Am I attending this party out of obligation because she attended my cookout a couple of weeks back? I don't want her to think badly of me, but I'm so tired and drained, and when am I supposed to do laundry so I can go to work in clean clothes? Or on the flip side, am I not attending because she skipped my party?
- Am I volunteering for this event merely because others did not? I don't want to leave the project leader in a bind, and I know he could really use the help. But am I just doing this out of pride or sense of obligation? Am I just seeking recognition? He often brags about how he can always count on me, and sure, I secretly like to hear his praises. But the truth is that my home is a disaster right now, and I'm unprepared to host Monday's dinner party.
Several verses immediately come to mind, but one stands out. When asked which commandment was the greatest, Jesus replied: And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these. (Mark 12:30-31)
WOW! I need this passage ingrained in my head. I need to dwell on it and really ponder the depths of what GOD is asking of me. HE wants me to love HIM with all that I am and have, but not only that, HE asks me to love another person as much as I love myself. So should I ever really say no? I mean if someone needs my participation or assistance, how can I in good conscience refuse them?
I love Mercy Me’s song This Life, which is the first track on their newest CD...
“Hold your heads up high
This is our moment to rise
We were meant to shine
Not just survive...”
I love those lyrics. We truly are meant to shine and burn brightly in this life.
But there are times, where in order to avoid burnout and to shine our brightest, we need to escape the demands and pressures of society. We need to pull back and free ourselves from the constant sense of obligation, duty, service and participation. We don’t need to accept every invitation or enroll in every service project. We need to know our own personal limits and endurance levels. We need to learn when to say no, when to politely decline and bow out gracefully.
I like reading those instances in JESUS' earthly ministry where HE chose to get away from the crowds that were pressing in on HIM with their needs, requests for healing and spiritual help. More than once, HE pulled away from the masses, withdrew from society and sought rest and solitude. I love that. I love how HE was fully human and yet fully divine. It’s a magical mix that confounds me and somehow gives me peace. Seeing HIM take time off to allow HIS human body and mind a chance to recover and catch up on rest makes me feel better when I crave it, too.
As a singleton, I’ve heard some really lame things over the years about how I should be busy actively serving non-stop because of my single status. As if, my lack of a spouse or an immediate family means that I am an expendable resource, an inexhaustible commodity that should stop pursuing anything but heavenly matters because of the time on my hands. This stings more than little.
If the first commandment is to love GOD, then shouldn’t we all -- married, dating, single, divorced and widowed -- be pursuing “heavenly matters”? I know that Paul admonished those without spouses to serve, but Paul did not exempt the rest of the population from actively serving by default either. We are each to do what we can and be accountable to the only ONE who knows us inside and out.
I recognize that there is a delicate balance at play here. GOD wants me actively serving and reaching out to those in my sphere of influence, and I shouldn’t be lazy about it. On the other hand, I need to check my motives and remember my own human limitations and responsibilities.
LORD, help me to seek out opportunities to serve, while humbly recognizing that YOU don’t need me to do it all. Help me to identify my human limits and learn to say yes or no when I should.
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