Speaking from the Heart

I came across this video on another blog. Some might call it random, but I don't believe in accidents. I resonate with A LOT of what the speaker is saying here. It's thought provoking stuff.

I particularly liked this line that he said about the church: “It’s not a museum for good people. It’s a hospital for the broken.”  

I’m a Showtime series junkie. I can’t handle all of it, mind you – just the shows that make me think and go deep or make me feel alive. The writing on a couple of Showtime’s series is phenomenal, and I’m a fan.

I’ve watched Dexter from the beginning. Season 1 still is my favorite, but I’m rather obsessed with seeing what else Dexter will get into with each new season. I love it. It’s raw, edgy and brilliantly crafted, and the acting is superb.

Now, I’m guessing that some of my friends and family members would be surprised that I watch Dexter. Admittedly, it is not a family show, not in any way, shape or form. Nearly every show has nudity. Yes, I think the show could do without it. Personally, I don’t get men’s obsession with the female form, and I don’t ever think I will. In addition, the language on the show is often foul. I don’t generally cuss like a sailor (at least not in public), but most scenes with the character “Deb” involve ready access to the “F” word. It’s her calling card!

But despite what some may call “flaws,” I find the show gripping. I’m reeled in time and time again with the plot twists, sitting on the edge of my seat breathlessly waiting for more. I find myself connected to the show and its quirky characters. AND that, I believe, is the real draw – the human connection.

This December, I caught up with a new Showtime series, Homeland. A co-worker (a fellow Dexter aficionado) recommended it to me, and so I checked it out for myself. I was hooked from episode 1. The show is a lot different from Dexter, but the top notch writing is vividly portrayed by the incredible acting of all the key players.

The show would almost fit in on one of the basic primetime networks. I said ALMOST because in truth, I think it is best left on Showtime right where it is. I don’t think primetime viewers are ready for it quite yet. I found the plot rather intriguing and the questions raised compelling. I like hearing other perspectives and having to own the reality that my own world view is limited and tainted by my own experiences and learnings. No one has all the answers. That is humbling and real. I liked it. 

Reflections of Europe

Reflecting back on our European adventures this past May, I find it curious how expectations can really get in the way...


Our first day in Brussels was a bit rough. I think we were all tired and a bit cranky and getting on each other’s nerves quickly. We got settled into our hotel, explored a bit of the surrounding area, and then had a welcome meeting with our tour director followed by a multiple course dinner. I was so tired I struggled to keep my eyes open during the introductions. Everyone was very kind and several people tried to pull me into conversation, but I wasn’t very engaging or much of a conversationalist at all. I tried to be as polite as I could be, but inside I felt miserable and desperately wanted to flee.


You see, it wasn’t what I had imagined it would be like. It was quite different, and my expectations were quickly dashed, and reality crept in. The bottom line was that everyone in our group was much older than I was. The majority of them had been married for longer than I had been alive. They were grandparents and many of them were great grandparents. I wasn’t sure what to think. I didn’t have anything in common with these people and wondered what I had gotten myself into! Would I have anyone to talk to?


But one good night of sleep did wonders on my psyche. I woke up determined that I was going to see and experience as much as I possibly could on this trip. I was going to enjoy every minute with my parents and my aunt. I wasn’t going to grumble or complain because things weren’t quite what I had imagined they would be. I was in Europe, for goodness sakes. This is where I had long dreamed of being, and here I was. I refocused myself, embraced the reality and felt much more invigorated and ready to have my own adventure, and boy, I sure did.


I became enchanted with Brussels and some of that old world charm thawed my disappointed heart. And I promptly found myself conversing with my fellow tour members and getting to know them despite our age differences, and surprisingly, I discovered many kindred spirits. Dick and his wife Audrey were incredibly sweet and warm. Dick and I would take turns pointing out good photo opportunities to one another and rushing around to get the perfect shot. George and Marilyn were another couple that I quickly grew fond of in Brussels. He kept me laughing and guessing at what he would say next, and Marilyn was a delight to watch as she kept her husband George in check.


And once we got on the cruise, it was quickly noted that I was “the baby” passenger on board, but I didn’t mind. I just grinned, laughed and went with it. In one sense, I think the great age difference between myself and most of the other passengers gave me a sense of freedom and relaxation. I didn’t have to be “on” all the time or act a certain part. I wasn’t out to impress. I could be as silly, frivolous and animated as I wanted to be. In fact, the more personality I exhibited, the better. It wasn’t an act or a ruse. No performance was needed. I just let my extroverted side out and no longer cared who saw me being myself.


I made friends quickly. I became known as “the girl,” and this girl didn’t know a stranger. I started conversations on my own without imagining what others were thinking of me. I sought people out. I would see 1 or more people standing off to the side on their own, and I would approach them with a friendly: “Hi there. I’m Melanie.”


I became “the photographer” – repairing or adjusting camera settings for people, jumping in and offering to take pictures, asking people to pose for my own camera, insisting on group shots, etc.


I became a motivator, encouraging people along and practicing patience. I tried to keep track of those in need of special care in our group, and I would make sure they didn't get left behind.


I got to know the staff and crew as well. I learned names, figured out who did what, asked lots of questions and joked with the serving staff. I exchanged sarcastic comments with the tour guides and learned quickly that sarcasm is not just for the British or American persona.


But who was this girl? Who was this carefree stranger? She was fearless. She was real. And I’m trying to keep track of her even now...I don't want to lose the joy and passion of just living that I experienced for those 3 full weeks. I want to discard the mask altogether and be the crazy, vibrant, energetic person GOD made me to be. I was in my element there on that boat, amongst those dear people, and it felt good.

Here Lies...

This past weekend a thought came to me, and I quickly made it my Facebook status to capture the thought – My greatest fear? That my tombstone will declare: " Here lies an accomplished reader..."

First of all, it’s not actually my greatest fear. Outside of eternal separation from GOD, spiders would probably be at the top of my list. (shiver)

Secondly, I’m not ordinarily morbid or so focused on my impending end. In fact, most of the time, I don’t think about stuff like that. But for some reason, it came to mind this weekend as I surveyed my life.

Fact is that I’ve been spending a lot of time on my own again lately. This isn’t a ploy for sympathy. I love it. Solitude is addictive! I crave it. I long for it. I need it. And my solitude isn’t lonely. I’ve been spending my time reading. I opted to put my Netflix account on hold for a while and get caught up on some books I’ve been collecting, and I’ve really been enjoying every minute. Nothing quite like getting wrapped up in someone else’s imagination! It’s pure joy for me.

As innocent as reading is, I have to be careful. I know me. If I let it, reading can so easily replace relationships for me, which is dangerous. Sure, I can enjoy books, but I need to be around people – real live, flesh and blood people, too. I need to be interacting with others. I need to be involved in making the lives of those around me better. I need to actively participate in my own story.

Frankly, I’m not embracing my mission if I select fiction over real life. Lots to ponder…

The Consummate Wanderer

I grew up reading novels about how Europe transfixed or mesmerized characters in those books.

I’ve watched films with that same idea that a visit to Europe can make people different afterwards.

And now, I can attest to the power of European travel for my self. 

In 2009, England was perfect bliss. I instantly fell under the spell of the stately country estates with their green, green gardens. It was a dream.

But in 2011, the European continent has gripped me differently. The effects are stronger, more powerful. I’ve been back here in the States for 7 weeks, and yet, that magnetic pull on my heart for regions other than my own is growing rather than diminishing.

I’ve lost my sense of home, and I'm ready to wander some more...

Day 20: Friday, 27 May 2011

I set the alarm clock for 2 AM because our luggage had to be bagged and tagged and outside our door at 3:15 AM. Breakfast was also at 3:15, and so we wanted to give ourselves plenty of time to get everything together.

Sandor and Ben were up to see us off. Our bus left soon after 4 AM. It had been such a wonderful trip, and I was extremely grateful for all the great memories, the new friends and experiences along the way. But it was very hard to face the reality that it was all over. The dream was ending and real life was beginning again…sigh!

We got to the airport and got checked in. The Budapest Airport was not very big. Soon, we were in the air and flying to Amsterdam. We made our connecting flight to Detroit. Our international flight was much better this time. The headsets worked, and we seemed to have more room or something. It was great!

And our lay-over in Detroit went fast, and soon we were on a quick flight to Indianapolis. I called Barb when we landed, and soon she met us and we were packing the van with all of our luggage.

I had a panic attack once we landed in Indy. I couldn’t remember where I had stashed my home key, but after rifling through everything twice, I tried an additional final location, and the key was in my money belt that I had not used the entire trip. WOOHOO!!

Mom and Dad wanted to take me to dinner, and so we had some supper at Cracker Barrel, and then they drove up to Winona Lake for the night. I started to unpack and sort through the dirty laundry I had collected over nearly 3 weeks away. Great fun!

Favorite Thing or Funny Moment

• Me: Getting so frustrated with myself over the missing key…I was in such a bad mood about it, which in hindsight is hilarious. HA!
• FEELING: Sad to have left Europe but kinda glad to be in my own space again!

Day 19: Thursday, 26 May 2011

I woke up to discover that we were well on our way to Budapest already. Slovakia was on the left bank of the river, and Hungary was on the right. Very picturesque!

We had our disembarkation meeting at 10 AM, where we learned the process for the following day. We will need to have our suitcases packed and in the hall by 3:15 AM, which is also when our breakfast starts. We will be leaving the ship at 4 AM. YIKES! At least we won’t be alone to catch our 6 AM flight. We will be in good company with many fellow ship passengers! 

Sandor is from Hungary, and so he came up on the sun deck and gave a talk from the wheel house so that we knew what we were seeing. We passed the Esztergom Basilica, which is the tallest building in Hungary.

Captain Roger was in really good spirits today, and he came by and chatted with Aunt Peggy and I for several minutes about our experiences on the cruise. Then Aunt Peggy asked if we could take some pictures with him, and he was completely obliging. He even bent down for the picture with me, which was cute!

We passed Margaret Island, and soon we were coming upon Budapest, which is the capital of Hungary.  Budapest became a single city occupying both banks of the river Danube with a unification on 17 November 1873 of right (west)-bank Buda and Óbuda with left (east)-bank Pest. Cited as one of the most beautiful cities in Europe, it has extensive World Heritage sites.

One of the bridges was under construction, and we could see some of the work that was being done on it as we passed underneath it. We passed the Parliament building, which is the third largest Parliament structure in the world. It is a lovely building.

Along the river, we could see a lot of the landmarks. There were a couple of statues in the hills like the one memorializing the missionary that was martyred by the native peoples when he introduced them to Christianity.  

We double-parked the ship next to another one and then headed to lunch.

That afternoon, Aunt Peggy and I went along on the bus and walking tour of Budapest while my parents caught up with some missionary friends in Budapest. There are lots of bridges that connect Buda with Pest and vice versa. We drove by Heroes' Square. I so desperately wanted to get out of the bus and stop for pictures, but it wasn’t happening.

On the Buda side, we stopped and a bit. Our guide pointed out the façade of a building that still had bullet holes from WWII. The building is just now being renovated. We walked up to St. Mathias Church. Officially named as the Church of Our Lady, it has been popularly named after King Matthias, who ordered the transformation of its original southern tower. The church is lovely on the outside, but inside, it is a bit dark and gloomy.

The Fisherman’s Bastion (or the Halászbástya) was right next to the church. It is a terrace in neo-Gothic and neo-Romanesque style. It was designed and built between 1895 and 1902 on the plans of Frigyes Schulek. The Bastion takes its name from the guild of fishermen that was responsible for defending this stretch of the city walls in the Middle Ages.

I ended up taking LOTS of posed pictures for everyone else on the Fisherman’s Bastion. It was a good location for a panoramic view of the city. And everybody wanted to pose in a shot with Parliament on the Pest side across the river, etc.

We then had some free time to do some shopping or look around some more, and so Aunt Peggy and I visited a couple of shops together. I bought a couple of small souvenirs and discovered that Carla’s forint were too old and were no longer usable in Hungary, which is kinda funny.

At one point, I saw Sandor making his way back up the hill toward the Bastion, and he was the most jovial I had ever seen him. We crossed each other on the sidewalk. He gave me a wave, a big smile and a wink as he made his way along. I totally had to laugh at that. The guy who I couldn’t get a smile from for weeks was transformed. I guess, you get the Hungarian back home in his native land, and he’s a different person. I love that!

We headed back to the boat by bus. Tonight was the Captain’s Farewell Dinner, and so our food was extra special. We had selected some of our favorite people to sit together for our last big meal together. It was sweet and sad at the same time! Marilyn and George had already left the ship, but they were missed.

The food was extra great, and the whole crew came streaming through to say their farewells. It was awesome. We finished off our meal with baked Alaska! YUM!! I tried to take some lessons from our executive chef’s presentation skills and decorated mine rather carefully with the sauce!

After dinner, we changed docking spots for our early AM disembarkation crowd (that’s us). We got to see the lights of Budapest, and it was dreamy. It was great to see the same landmarks all lit up for the night when we had toured or driven by the same places earlier in the day.

The crew brought up champagne and served it to us up on the sun deck. It was a wonderful end to our trip! I went around saying my goodbyes to my new friends, many who are staying on the boat until it reaches Bucharest in Romania. I collected some business cards and email addresses, and there are many people that I hope to keep in touch with. I think making friends on the cruise has been the biggest surprise to me, and probably one of the most special things about it all!

Favorite Thing or Funny Moment

• Me: Getting a friendly response from Sandor. Sure, now that I’m leaving tomorrow, he wants to be friends. HA!  
• FEELING: Sad about tomorrow’s departure!

Day 18: Wednesday, 25 May 2011

After breakfast, we had a lecture on music with Professor Kudlac, a Canadian (from Montreal) who has lived in Vienna for over 30 years. He played samples of some of the classical music he was talking about, too. It was a good lecture.

Then we met up with our local guide Sigrid (or Sigi) whom we had walked with the day before, and she joined us on our bus ride to the Schönbrunn Palace, which is a former imperial 1,400-room Rococo summer residence of the Hapsburg monarchs. The castle was over-crowded on our tour, and it felt rushed, but it was still nice to see. Unfortunately, we couldn’t take photos inside the palace. So sad!

After the tour, we visited the gardens. They were vast, and it was hard to see everything. But it was obvious that the drought has affected the plants here in Vienna as well. Things were not as lush as you can imagine they might be. Honestly, I have not been overly impressed by the European gardens when compared to the English gardens, but I’m not an expert. I'm just a girl who likes gardens! The rose garden was very nice though, and I enjoyed it.

We drove back to the ship after our tour, and once again we passed some of the now familiar landmarks in Vienna. There is just so much to see and do here in the city. I think I’m just gonna have to come back now.

At lunch on the ship, I had a mishap with my ice cream sundae. It somehow flipped over onto the table and was a complete loss. Alec and Valentine thought it was hilarious. Alec wanted to take a picture! HA! Valentine swooped in and saved the day. He cleaned it up, and then piled a bunch of clean napkins over top of the messed up tablecloth. They sent me back up to the sundae bar to get a fresh one, and this time I was more careful not to dump it over. 

After lunch on board the ship, Mom, Dad and I walked along the river and visited another church we had spotted from the bus a few times. The St. Francis of Assisi Church (or Jubilee Church) was built to look old, and so it was only like 100 years old or something like that, but it was still nice to see it. The organ was being played as well, and so Mom liked that. There was a small mosaic chapel over on one side that I really enjoyed.

We then walked across the street to a Penny Market to get some Cokes and pick up some packages of cookies for Aunt Peggy to take back to some of her girlfriends.

At 5 PM, we headed back into Vienna for our private concert at the Kursalon. The Kursalon is where some of Vienna’s finest performed in the past such as the Strauss Brothers, etc. We had orange juice and champagne served out on the terrace before the concert, and everyone was dressed up and looked spiffy!

A 9-person chamber orchestra played each of the pieces incredibly well. There were also 2 opera singers that sang along for a few numbers, and 2 dancers that performed during some of the pieces as well. It was a wonderful way to spend an evening in Vienna!

We went back to the boat for our Mozart dinner.  For the first time all cruise, I opted to order off the side menu and got a sirloin steak instead of the “boiled cap of rump.” I wasn’t sure what that was, but I thought a steak sounded good, and it sure was!

After dinner, I went up on the sun deck and took pictures of the city of Vienna that we were leaving behind. The lights along the riverbank beautifully reflected in the waters below. We went through another lock after dark as well. This lock was so big that we had LOTS of room on one side.

Aunt Peggy heard through the ship grapevine that later in the night or early the next morning, our ship would be passing by Bratislava, the capital of Slovakia. There are apparently some beautiful things that will be lit up, and we don’t want to miss it.  So we talked to Ivan at the reception desk, and he offered to give us a wake-up call.

So at around 12:15 AM, we headed up to the sun deck. Susan (Colorado) saw us and she joined us. It was a bit chilly out there, but it was lovely to see the lights on the water. The bridges were spectacular especially the one with the UFO look to it. It was wonderful!!

Once we passed Bratislava, we headed back to our cabin and went right to sleep.

Favorite Thing or Funny Moment

• Me: the Kursalon Concert; catching the lights of Bratislava as we passed it.
• FEELING: Twirling-ready – I feel like twirling!

Day 17: Tuesday, 24 May 2011

We docked in Vienna before breakfast this morning. We are going to be in Vienna today and tomorrow as well. YAY! At 9 AM, we set off for our panoramic Vienna city tour. We drove into the city and passed several churches and other landmarks on the way.

The Ringstraße (or Ringstrasse) is a circular road surrounding the inner city or Innerstadt of Vienna and is one of its main sights. It is typical of the historical style of the 1860s to 1890s. It houses the city’s fine architecture and many shops and hotels.

Today, our guide took us on a walk through the palace complex and the surrounding areas. We walked through the massive library (called the State Hall or Prunksaal) at the Josefsplatz in the Hofburg Palace, saw some of the special Spanish horses that belong to Austria, walked through part of the opera building and saw the Hercules statues, stepped into St. Michael’s Church for a few moments, and saw the recently excavated areas in the center of a busy street. It was all a blur of activity really, and it was hard to keep our locations straight. Honestly, I don’t think we really ever left the palace area, but we just didn’t know that at the time.

We returned back to the square where we had started our tour, and Mom and Aunt Peggy heard an organ playing, and so they ducked into a church there on the square to hear more. Rebels!!!

Mom, Aunt Peggy and I chose to stay in Vienna and catch lunch on our own with Dick and Audrey. We then walked more of the streets of Vienna to get to St. Stephan’s Cathedral, which was also under construction. Aunt Peggy and Mom were delighted with the bright stained glass windows inside of the church until I discovered that it was just some brightly colored plastic sheeting that was a temporary covering. The sheeting still allowed for some fun reflection photos on the ceiling though. The roof of the church was uniquely made with colorful tiles of some type. It definitely stood out. 

We then walked around Vienna some more. We passed some strange looking sculptures that sort of looked like the Michelin Man, but we weren’t quite sure what they were supposed to be. 

We got some gelato at a street vendor, and then we walked through a couple more churches. St. Peter’s Church was built in the early 1700’s and was lovely.

St. Augustine’s Church was back in the original square where we had started our AM walking tour. Mom and Aunt Peggy had stepped into the church earlier that day to hear the organ. And this time the organ was being played again, and so we listened for a few minutes. Then Aunt Peggy, Dick and Audrey chose to take the shuttle back to the ship, while Mom and I stayed in town and did more shopping.

Mom and I caught the last shuttle bus back to the ship on our own. I went up on the sun deck and called Barbara. It sure is great to talk to my sister.

That night, about half of the ship’s passengers had an extra excursion they had paid for. It was called a Heurigen evening and involved drinking some new wine and eating food while listening to music. The rest of us stayed on board for dinner.

After dinner, I took some shots of the fading sunset over Vienna.

Favorite Thing or Funny Moment

• Me: Realizing that when it comes to her desire to hear music, my Mom can turn into quite the rebel!
• FEELING: Tired – we did lots of walking today!

Day 16: Monday, 23 May 2011

Today is the day that the ship is going to be dry-docked while the passengers spend a full day sight-seeing. We’ll be on the go all day today, but it does sound like fun. Ben (the hotel manager) is going to go along with us today and lead the GREEN group since Louise is not going to be coming back for our tour.

Our ship docked at Linz, Austria this morning, and then after breakfast, we hopped on our buses for the ride to Durnstein. But before our buses pulled out, the River Explorer left the dock and headed along the river without us. It felt odd like we were being left behind or something…

Along the drive, I tried to take pictures of the hills and the beautiful countryside of Austria, but again, it’s rather hard to get decent shots through a window. We passed the mighty castle fortress that once imprisoned King Richard the Lion-hearted of England. It  sits above the town of Durnstein and is linked to the turbulent history of the Crusades. Within the towering stone walls, Leopold V (the Babenberg duke ruling Dürnstein) held the English King Richard the Lion-Hearted of England prisoner beginning in 1193. Eventually one of his men found where he was being held, the ransom was paid and King Richard was released.

Once in Durnstein, we had a long, steep walk from the parking lot to the town itself, and when we got to the town, we headed to the restrooms. I popped up to see the sweet little cemetery at the top of some stairs while the rest of the group stopped for a restroom break.

Next, we headed for our scheduled organ concert at the 15th century Dürnstein Pfarrkirche (or Parish Church). Originally part of an Augustinian monastery, the chapel was reconstructed in the baroque style, and the church tower is considered to be one of the finest architectural landmarks in the Danube valley.

The concert was pretty good.  I walked around the church while the organist played, and I was bit stunned and shocked to find a skeleton enclosed in a glass coffin. I wondered if it was poor Snow White, who had not been rescued by her Prince Charming after all or what! But in reality it was just a saint in a glass coffin along with a memorial to them. It was a bit disturbing to see a skeleton on display like that. But then I spotted another one on the other side of the church, and so I had to check that one out as well.  CREEPY!

After the concert, we had a few minutes to shop before heading back to the bus. Once back on the bus, we headed to Emmersdorf an der Donau for lunch at the Donauhof. Lunch was good and was followed by a wine tasting of 3 different wines. I discovered that I like “ice wine.” It’s a sweet wine and taste pretty good compared to some of the other wines I’ve tried.

After the wine tasting, we were held up a bit by a torrential downpour at the Donauhof.  I eventually was sent to the bus with my umbrella so that I could get the umbrellas for the rest of my family and bring them back to where they were waiting. George gave them all a hard time about sacrificing “their daughter” so that they wouldn’t get wet, etc. But the truth is that I offered to do it. HA!

We then went to Melk Abbey for our guided tour. It was fantastic, and most importantly, photos were allowed inside. WOOHOO!! There were several exhibit rooms that we went through followed by a visit to some of the elegant rooms within the abbey. The grand hall was quite spectacular to see! The fresco-painted ceiling was breath-taking. We went out on the balcony and had an excellent view of the surrounding area as well. The rain had cleared up, and the sky was lovely once more. Then we visited the library, which was amazing! The chapel was highly ornate and baroque. I liked the spiral staircase that we saw on our way out, too.

We then came back to Linz, Austria via the bus, and thankfully our ship was there when we returned to the dock. YAY! When Aunt Peggy and I got to our cabin, we had a bottle of champagne and 2 champagne flutes along with a note. Apparently, the ship was slightly tilted in dry dock today, and the water from the AC spilled over into our cabin floor. So our carpet is still a bit wet. It also affected several of the rooms along our side of the hall. Our floor was mostly dry by the time we got back from the bus trip, but other rooms are still pretty wet.

We were soon sailing again. Tonight’s dinner was a German buffet with all kinds of sausages, etc. The crew wore traditional German clothing as well. I got some great shots of the sunset during dinner tonight, too. I just can’t resist…

After dinner, the crew provided our evening entertainment with songs, skits and other stuff. It was lots of fun! It was good to see them relax and let their hair down.

We all headed to bed laughing. It had been a great day.

Favorite Thing or Funny Moment

• Me: Discovering that there were real human skeletons on display in the church at Durnstein; and watching Alec and Valentine carry off their skit roles excellently.
• FEELING: Silly!