Why Aren’t You Married Yet?

I found the Single newsletter article from Christianity Today interesting this week.

Yes, this dreaded question still does get asked of singletons. I don’t get asked about it as much as I used to, and when I think about THAT fact too long in a pensive moment or two, it starts to bother me...Do they not ask me about that stuff any more because they see me as a lost cause? Can they tell WHY I’m not married just by looking at me? Is it something they can share with me? Is it something I can fix?

But lately, it’s been my nieces and nephews that have asked the question, and I’m never quite sure what to say to them. I don’t want to sound bitter or angry, although I have felt those emotions in my single life. And yet I don’t want to give a trite answer or just say what I’m supposed to say either. I usually respond with something like, “Well, GOD hasn’t brought along the right man for Aunt Mel yet.” And then I add with a smile, “But hey, I’d appreciate it if you’d start praying for an uncle.” They always smile, nod their heads and give me a hug, and that does it for me...that just breaks my heart.

They don’t know how badly I want them to have an uncle. I can picture him playing games with them, laughing and having a good time.

They don’t know how I long to walk into a room and introduce this man to my family. I have imagined that scene in my head so many times. I can see the smile on my Mom’s face and in her eyes. She can’t hide her joy at all, and it will radiate from within.

They don’t know how I have these deep desires for something more. GOD and I talk about this almost daily.

They don’t know how lonely it gets sometimes. FATHER, I don’t think I can do another 34 years of this on my own. Help me!

Maybe it’s not healthy to think about these things, but honestly, it’s always there just under the surface, and so maybe hiding it or pretending that it isn’t there is NOT the answer either. I'm a romantic. I’ve been in love with love, ready to find a love of my own for as long as I can remember, and I don’t know how to change that, and I’m not sure I’m supposed to. It’s part of who I am.

I don't know how singles should answer questions about their marital status. What I do know is that I think we need to be more honest! We especially need to be honest with GOD about our desires, our struggles, our feelings. If you want it, say so. Don't pretend you don't care about it, but don't let it consume you either. I'm still trying to find and keep that balance in my life. Sometimes I'm all right with things, and sometimes, the scale is all out of whack again. But I know that GOD wants to hear from the real me, not the person I wish I was. Of all the people in my life, HE is the one I can be the most transparent with. HE knows me better than I do...