Amidst all the mischief and mayhem this week...

There have been bright spots…

Like enjoying sweets and other treats as we celebrated one of my attorney’s birthdays in the office! There is always an abundance of goodies to munch on all day, and while the singing of “happy birthday” was a bit painful for all to hear, I still think the birthday boy liked the attention! Many happy returns of the day, Carl!

Like spending an evening with girlfriends and watching yet another chic flick! No one likes goodbyes really, but sharing pizza and a little wine while enjoying a good movie made our “goodbye to Denae” party easier! We’ll miss you, Denae!

Like having my former boss treat me to lunch at Macaroni Grill. He had a stroke this past March just 3 weeks after his retirement, and so it was so great to see him as active as ever and regaining use of his faculties. And nothing beats a steaming plate of Pasta Milano with bowtie pasta, chicken, mushrooms, sun-dried tomatoes and a creamy garlic alfredo sauce along with some tasty bread! Wonderful! I appreciate your thoughtfulness, Bob J.!

Like laughing with a co-worker as we both struggled to figure out how to get my new windshield wiper blades on in the wind this afternoon. From an earlier conversation this morning, I misunderstood and thought that she had done it before. She hadn’t, but she had watched it being done and thought we could handle it. SHE did! While I chased the cardboard trash around and tried to locate my car manual, she played around with the contraption and got the new wipers on and working beautifully. She can’t wait to share the news with her husband. He will be so proud. Thanks, Barb!

Yes, even in the midst of this week, there are high points and special moments to celebrate—for which I am grateful! Thank you, LORD!

Parking Space Blues…

I’ve had one of those weeks—one of those maddening, irritating weeks where one thing after another has gone wrong. I’ve wanted to signal for a TIME OUT or request a do-over, but in real life, the PAUSE or REWIND button doesn’t really help, and come to think of it the FAST FORWARD button doesn’t apply either…

One of my sample irritations is my parking space. I pay for a space in the carport at my apartment complex, and for some reason, due to a clerical paperwork error, my spot was given to someone else this week. I didn’t know about it until the office called to verify which spot I parked in. Apparently their records had a discrepancy between the spot I always park in and the spot they thought I parked in. I learned that they had sold my spot to a new resident, who was calling their offices asking for my car to be towed out of “their” spot. So, I was glad that the office called prior to towing away my vehicle. We discussed what had happened, and I felt that we got everything squared away. I would keep my spot same as always, and they would move the new resident into an “actual” vacant space.

However, I came home the next couple of days to find my spot without a vacancy. I called the complex office that first night and left a message that someone was in my spot. No response. When I got to work the next day, I called again and left a second message. No response. I called when I got home from work the next night to report once again that someone else was parked in my spot. I got an actual person this time and was told that I was parking in the wrong spot because they had me in another spot. I wasn’t quite sure how to respond. How could they bump me from my current spot that I had been parking in for 9 months? That didn’t make any sense. And how come none of what we had resolved on Monday was indicated in their records? I checked my lease and called back to argue some more. This time I got voicemail again and so I left a message asking for the manager to call me back and get this resolved.

Well, it’s day 5 in the drama, and I still don’t know which parking space is mine! But for 2 days now I’ve had to defrost my car because my carport space was taken. OK, so it’s not that big of a deal in light of what other people are facing. But this carport space drama—in light of all the other things that have happened this week—this is the final straw. It’s that thing that has put me over the edge!

My recent encounters with my apartment complex staff and with customer service representatives at two of my banks have me spinning my wheels in frustration and wondering whatever happened to customer service in this country! Why is it that after 6 calls to my landlord I still don’t have anything reconciled? Why doesn’t anyone return my calls? Why am I the one having to call again and again and listen to conflicting information every time?

I’m not asking for a lot here, I don't think. I just want communication and a resolution. At this point in time, I’d settle for any carport space. Just tell me where to park and I’ll park there. HA!

There’s a commercial on the air right now that emphasizes the poor customer service with demonstrations of such behavior with a bagger at a grocery putting the gallon of milk on top of the carton of eggs in a bag or the UPS man crushing a package in an elevator door, etc. I found it funny at first and overstated. I was thinking…this would be what it was like IF things had really gotten that bad. However, after my week, I find it rather hopelessly true. (I guess my rose-colored glasses have been smashed!)Gone are the days when the customer is always right! The modern slogan is: The customer? What customer? I don't think we have those!

Ah but today the world is brighter already. It's FRIDAY!!!! WOOHOO!! I’m thrilled to have the weekend to recuperate.

I love autumn...

The smell of burning leaves, the crisp cool air, the crunchy sounds on the ground, the thought of pumpkin pie and candy corn and apple cider, etc. It's all bliss to me--save one thing. FOOTBALL!

I've hated the game ever since I can remember. The only time I ever enjoyed football was going to local games in my small town when I was in high school, and believe me --it was never really about the game. It was about the boys and trying to fit into the local scene after living a sheltered existence in private school!

Growing up with 3 older brothers meant that football was on every Saturday and Sunday afternoon in our home! Every major holiday like Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's was all about the game, and it didn't matter who was playing or even if they were fans of either team on the field. Football was on TV, and thus it had to be watched.

On Thanksgiving, my sister and I would watch a couple of hours of the parades in the morning before getting booted off the TV. And then would start the real male bonding--the arguing over specific plays, the yelling matches at the TV, and the complete annoyance at anyone interrupting the game (i.e. a little sister asking a question was quickly banished from the room). And you can just imagine how thrilled they were when I would hide the TV remote right before the games started. I was far from blameless especially since it was probably my desire to watch a movie on TV myself that made me so ornery with my brothers in the first place.

As an adult, my dislike of football has continued. I have plenty of friends that love the game. In fact some of my closest girlfriends enjoy nothing better than watching a good football game, but I rarely join in even when they have parties. And when I'm with my family on the holidays, I make an effort to do other things. I guess I want Thanksgiving to be about family time, and to me family time isn't about falling asleep watching TV together or ignoring the pleas of the younger generation to join in some fun with them. And maybe because I don't have a family of my own, family time is so precious. I want to go for walks with my Mom and my nieces and nephews and play games and spend every minute I can in their company. Maybe it's become a matter of principle for me! Or maybe I'm just stubbornly refusing to follow that old "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" idea! Whatever it is, I haven't changed my opinion of the game.

My oldest nephew is now on a football team, and this past weekend, I went to his 1st football game ever. Despite my personal feelings for the game, I wanted to support him. So I went and for the most part enjoyed my time there. And yet at the same time, part of me was a bit saddened. I fear I am losing him to this game I dislike so much. I'm watching him change from that boy who liked nothing better than playing hours and hours of Monopoly into a young man who like his Dad and uncles now yells at the referees on TV.

I joked with a co-worker this morning that a lack of interest in football was on my top 10 list for a future mate. She laughed at me, and I could tell she thought me a bit silly, and perhaps I am as I pine for a man who doesn't like the game either. [With my luck, I'll meet a peewee league football coach and fall madly in love, and that will be an end to my soap box days.]

For now, I'm sticking to my anti-football stance. I think a healthy regard or interest in most things can be positive, but any obsession taken to extremes--whether in football or anti-football, photography or even card-making--can be harmful to ourselves and to those relationships around us! Maybe I should watch a game or two this season as therapy...hmmmm? Don't count on it.

I love being an Aunt...

I really do. Nothing else quite like it! Simply delightful!

I first became an Aunt 1 week shy of my 16th birthday (which means that my sister first became an Aunt at 13). I remember being excited that this tiny little entity would one day call me “Aunt,” but a bit bewildered by it as well. Aunts were supposed to be my parents’ age. They were supposed to be older and have more life experience, weren’t they? All of my Aunts were.

Three nephews and 4 more nieces later, it is still a special thrill to become an Aunt to another small resident of this planet we call home. It happened for the 8th time this week. My sister gave birth to Grace Anna on Tuesday of this week, and it was just as thrilling this time, too!

With each year, it does seem to get more and more certain that I may never have a family of my own. I'd be lying if I said that it didn't bother me from time to time. Sure it does get to me on occasions, but for the most part, I'm good with the status quo. I feel blessed in other ways. I have 5 nieces and 3 nephews to call my own, and for that I am truly grateful. After all, family is what we make it…and I like mine just fine!

I'm glad to be single...

But don't quote me when I'm having one of those I'm-sure-I'm-the-last-single-girl-out-there days.This is not one of those days however. Today is a good day. Today I'm overwhelmed with just how good I have it. I feel free...

A couple weekends ago, 2 fellow single girlfriends and I went for an exciting 4-day weekend to St. Louis. OK, maybe some of you are wondering why! Why St. Louis? I know I wasn't sure how it would go or just how entertaining St. Louis could be, but I am now pasionately mad about the city. It was wonderful. So many FREE...yes, I did say F-R-E-E things to do. The Art Museum with it's inviting galleries,the St. Louis Zoo with it's wonderful animals, the Missouri History Museum with its intriguing collections, the breath-taking Cathedral Basilica with its 41.5 million colorful mosaic tiles, and many more freebies! Delightful!!

Our sight-seeing also included ticket price excursions like a tour of the fabulous Fox Theatre, where we were delighted to run into Kelly Clarkson preparing for a concert; or the brilliant and dazzling Missouri Botanical Gardens which reminded me of Europe (yes, Europe--the Europe I've not been to yet, I know, but I can imagine it like Europe, can't I?). It was all wonderful and exciting!

So what all does that have to do with me being glad I'm single? Well, because I could do it. I had the means, the opportunity and the freedom to do it. I could pack my bags and head out for a long weekend without scheduling it with a significant other or without really having to alert anyone. In this case, it was a highly-planned trip that we schemed and budgeted for weeks in advance, but those last-minute plans are highly possible and easier to do in my present state.

It's something that we singles sometimes take for granted. That freedom to move from one thing to another, to consider that job in London, to plan something last minute or on a whim...and so today I'm thankful--thankful I'm right where I am. There's a whole world out there waiting, and I can see it at my leisure.

Set Me Up Please...

In the past, I’ve commented to a small set of friends that I sometimes wonder why no one ever attempts to set me up with eligible men in their circles. Now to some of you this might sound like a silly complaint or a pathetically pitiful thing to whine about, but I’m sure that others have had similar thoughts on this subject before. Let me set the scene for you…

What If...
You’re single, and you’re having dinner with some friends and during the course of the evening, they tell you all about this guy they know. I mean they really sell him to you—“He’s a real gentleman, he’s never been married, he’s a writer with a charming British accent and he just won 1st prize in a Clive Owen look-a-like contest…”

So by now, you’re sold. In your head you’re picking out fonts for your wedding invitations and contemplating where to have the rehearsal dinner. [OK, maybe you’re not that far gone, but your curiosity has definitely been piqued!] You’re thinking quietly to yourself, hmmmm…this guy sounds interesting! I wonder how I could arrange to meet him. Do I look like I am too interested in this topic? Am I drooling? You find yourself naturally intrigued, and you’re dying to know more about this mystery man, and besides, your secretly thrilled that your friends decided to tell YOU about him.

And then your dear friends finish their engaging conversation about Mr. Right with: “So do you think he and Kelly would be a good match? I mean we’re hoping to introduce them at our cookout next month. What do you think? She deserves someone nice after her heartbreak over Jason, don’tcha think?”

You politely smile, nod your head and finish chewing your bite. But inside, your heart just let out a gasp, and you wonder why no one heard the sound! There is a complete whirlwind of activity brewing in your mind, and while you don’t want to appear rude or desperate to your friends you have to wonder…Why wouldn’t this man be a match for me? Am I invisible here? Did they forget that I’m single too? Do they ever consider me? Has the thought never crossed their minds that maybe just maybe I might be interested in someone nice like that myself?

And while you don’t want to be blatantly mean, you have to confess that you are also thinking that Kelly, Kimberly, Karee, Kiki or whatever the heck her name is has had a lot of dates in the past few months, while you have had none. You don’t want to seem uncharitable, but K---- has had her fair share of eligible men over the past year. You don’t begrudge her for the pain she has gone through as she has endured several broken relationships, but at the same time, you wonder when she is going to take a time out? When will it be your turn? Your turn to be the girl that someone introduces to this great guy they know. And YOU don’t need 5 or 10 referrals sent your way—you’d settle for just one--disaster date or not. Maybe it won't work out as a happily-ever-after like in the fairy tales, but you'd still like to be considered. You'd like to make the list at least.

Well until recently, I didn’t think anyone was paying attention…

Partying with Bono and Flirting with Waiters!
Well, then along came my co-workers. I’ve been in my new job now for nearly a year, and lately, I have been the hot topic of conversation during our lunch breaks and office discussions.

One of my bosses has been teasing me for months about my “secret rendezvous” with celebrities or rock-n-rollers visiting our city. For example, if I come dragging in on a Monday morning, he “accuses” me of partying all night with Bono from U2. And the next week, he’ll swear that he saw me out with Brad Pitt the night before. It’s rather hilarious week-to-week to discover who I am “seeing” that week. [It’s definitely more exciting than what I actually WAS doing that week! AHEM!]

Well, last week, my boss joined me and my regular lunch buddies for a trip to our favorite Mexican restaurant for chimichanga day! [Bring on the queso! WOOHOO!] At the end of the meal, our twenty-something waiter brought out our checks and my boss decided to quiz him for a bit. He’s always asking silly questions, and so I don’t usually pay much attention, but this time was different.

So are you seeing anyone? --- No.
Are you interested in blondes? --- Sure.

And after that, my boss didn’t miss a beat. He quickly turned to me and said, “Hey, Mel, he does like blondes!” And of course, I instantly blushed, which was the point. And who knows what the poor waiter must have been thinking. I must say it was rather hilarious, and ever since, my boss has been talking about it. The story has changed several times. Lately, he recounts how I was flirting and leading on the poor waiter.

Of course, I’ve tried to defend myself and re-tell the story minus the hysteria that my boss has created. Well, one day last week while recounting the “true story” to a fellow coworker, she confessed that she has been pondering introducing me to her son’s friend for a few months now. She’s known him for years, and somehow I’ve come to her mind as a possible match with him.

Now I doubt I’ll ever meet my co-worker’s son’s friend and I even more seriously doubt that the friendly waiter is going to look me up, but that’s not the point. It’s funny that just when we think we are alone in the world, GOD brings along some reminders—some sincere people who are deeply interested in my future, almost more than I am some days. In the midst of the teasing and the laughs, I’ve discovered that I am blessed, and I need to focus on the dear ones around me. They have made me laugh again and see the delight in being single. They’ve been showing me daily how special and exciting life can be, and it’s that rekindling of life in my veins that makes each step just a bit lighter.

On the Outside Looking in...

We all know what happens when we are on the other side of a glass window looking in, right? We get too close to the pane, and it's starts to fog up with each breath. And suddenly, we aren't really seeing things on the other side very clearly at all. We see a somewhat smudged and foggy representation of life on the other side.

Now, I think we are all a bit fascinated with experiences outside of our own. DUH! We're wired for interaction. We are made for relationships--with GOD and with others, and so it shouldn't be a shock to hear that people are interested in people...this is certainly not a new concept.

What does shock me sometimes in talking with my married co-workers is that just as I am intrigued and yes, slightly envious of their marital bliss, they are just as curious and envious about my single life.

As a single person, I know I tend to look at married life longingly and with more than a bit of a rose-colored aura. The truth is that my idea of marriage is over romanticized! It's like an end all to me. Yes, I can see the lack of validity there. I know that is not the way it is, but yet from the outside looking in, it seems like the most important thing, and I wish so much to have "crossed over" to the other side.

On the flip side, my married co-workers remind me of the realities of marriage. They feel cramped some days having to share their space. They tire of having to think of their other half before making dinner plans or wish to be able to be more spontaneous. I see the wistful looks in their eyes after I return from an impromptu weekend trip with friends or recount the holiday parties I've gone to. In fact one of my co-workers recently announced that she likes to "live vicariously through my experiences." Now, I'm not quite sure what to make of that, but it has gotten me thinking.
We're not so different on either side of that glass window. Both sides want what's on the other side. We singles want the sharing and depth of relationship that comes with marriage, while our married counterparts long for the space and freedom of the single lifestyle.

So when it comes right down to it, it's not so bad being right where I am. Sure, I long for more, but then who doesn't?!?! And finding out that I have more in common with people than I think is a good thing! We're not alone...

Just a giggle and a dream...

There are moments that spring upon me—moments where I long to have someone else in my life. Is that selfish? Is that ungrateful to yearn for something more? I don’t think so. It can overtake me and become an obsession. It’s happened before, but today it’s not like that.

I’ve had months of calm tranquility in my life where this discussion of the other has been a sleeping dog, if you will. I haven’t been daily contemplating my singleness or complaining about the lack of men in my life. If anything it’s been quite the opposite. I’ve been oddly enough content and at peace with the solitude and serenity of my situation.

And today it’s no different. I’m not regressing back to 3 years ago. I’m not crying or boohooing my singleton lifestyle. I’m not depressed. It's just that the dream of more is still alive and well in me. I want my own significant other! [Not that everyone already in my life is NOT significant or anything! AHEM!]

Guess it all started earlier this week. I was laughing about something I had written down, and it suddenly came to me: I hope he likes to read and write…whoever he is. And then later as I looked at a friend’s website that displays her accomplishments as a photographer, I contemplated again: Oh I hope he likes pictures! And wouldn’t it be great if he was a photo-nut, too? And then I giggled secretly to myself. No sobs or hysterics. No melancholy brooding. All at once I was keenly aware of how good it felt to be alive in that moment with just a giggle and a dream...

My breath has been taken away...

No, I don't have some big news of my own to share...I've just been thinking about 2 of my dear friends, Angie and Andy, and their big moment of becoming parents. They are in China right now as I write this in the process of adopting a beautiful baby girl, and it's so exciting.

As I read their blog this afternoon and got an update on little Sarah Grace, I got chills and started tearing up. Angie and Andy are 2 of the kindest, most loving and compassionate people I have ever met. [And I'm not just writing this in case they ever read this...they really are inspiring!] I'm so very thrilled for them. I can't help but feel at a loss for words when I contemplate how exciting it must be for them to be able to hold this dear cuddly little soul that they have inherited from a gracious, loving heavenly FATHER that knew exactly what child to place in their hearts and home! They've been praying for this moment, preparing for this entry into parenthood, and now here it is. GOD has been faithful yet again!

I'm awestruck and so excited...what a joy! [Enough said!]

There’s just something magical about weddings!

It’s hard not to smile when you see how happy the bride is, and when you catch the groom adoringly admiring the bride or hear him retelling their story, it’s simply delightful. But being a single 30-something female without a man or even the potential of a man does tend to taint that blissful view. More and more, I find that I both love and loathe weddings!

When I attend a wedding, I’m safe for an hour or 2—just enough time to catch the wedding and spend a short time at the reception—that I can handle, but after that, I can’t take it anymore. I’m done…doesn’t actually diminish my happiness for the bride and groom. I’m thrilled for them, but after a couple of hours, I personally crash.

To me weddings are both hope and pain. It’s exciting to see another couple joined in holy matrimony. Just watching them pledge their love for one another gives me just a wee bit of hope that maybe there really is someone special ahead for me as well. Not that my current life isn’t satisfying just the way it is, but there is still that GOD-given longing to share my life with someone. And so for a brief while, something stirs inside of me and revives that feeling and sensation of excitement and anticipation that “it could still happen.” It’s as if I have wings, and it’s all right to dream again.

But once the wedding is all over, I return back to the real world, and I crash down from that pinnacle of hope. The post-wedding blues arrive and suddenly that earlier “high” transforms into something dark and morbid. The hope is replaced with despair and anxiety! Where once was confidence, fear has taken over, and I’m longing to be anywhere but there, and so I leave. I mentally check out and return to my own little life.

I guess weddings cause me to face my greatest fear—that of being alone. To those who know me, this may sound like a contradiction since I claim to love being alone and enjoy my solitude perhaps more than I should. But maybe it’s all a sham. Perhaps I shut myself in to keep hope out and to prevent myself from longing for more than I already have. For where there is hope, there is also the opportunity for pain…