How Wide Is Your Love

Every year on this day, there is a man standing on the West 38th Street over pass above 465 waving a large American flag. I know why he’s there. He was there on September 11, 2001 when I somberly drove home from work. He was there last year on this day and the year before and the year before that, too. He returns each year to remind us. He doesn’t want us to forget that tragic day 7 years ago that rocked the world.

And yet there is ANOTHER WHO comes to mind today. HE too rocked the world only HE laid down HIS life to save it.

After I passed the man with the flag this morning and started on my Northbound commute on 465, I listened to this song of remembrance in my car...

*How wide is Your love
That You would stretch Your arms
And go around the world
And why for me would a Savior's cry be heard

I don't know
Why You went where I was meant to go
I don't know
Why You love me so

Those were my nails
That was my crown
That pierced Your hands and Your brow
Those were my thorns
Those were my scorns
Those were my tears that fell down
And just as You said it would be
You did it all for me
After You counted the cost
You took my shame, my blame
On my cross

How deep is Your grace
That you could see my need
And chose to take my place
And then for me, these words I'd hear You say

Father no
Forgive them for they know not what they do
I will go
Because I love them so

Those were my nails
That was my crown
That pierced Your hands and Your brow
Those were my thorns
Those were my scorns
Those were my tears that fell down
And just as You said it would be
You did it all for me
After You counted the cost
You took my shame, my blame
On my cross*

LORD, forgive me. How easily I forget what YOU did in love for me—YOU took my place. Thank you!

*“On My Cross” as sung by FFH; words and music by Jeromy Deibler

Diet Girl Celebrates 50 Pound Loss and Vows to Press On!

Last week, I lost almost 3 pounds and was just shy of my first big goal of 50 pounds lost. So this week, I was a bit excited and anxious to step on the scales. I only needed .4 pounds lost to make it to 50. Here goes...

Well, I lost 1.6 pounds, and so I broke right through 50 and am now down 51.2 pounds since April 1st. WOOHOO!! I'm very excited. I took a moment to let it all sink in. I can now reward myself with a new bicycle, which I am thrilled about. And yes, Becky, I will be looking at new bike helmets, too.

I'm going to savor this moment and enjoy it...[sigh!]

OK, enough of that, there is more work to be done. Lots of walking and biking to do while the weather holds, and I still need to come up with my exercise plan for the winter months. Hmmmmm...I'm still pondering all my options.

Thank you to all my friends and family who have been so encouraging over the last 5+ months. Thank you to my sister for coming along on this WW journey with me. Thank you, LORD, for life and for giving me the strength and stamina to let go of donuts!

High Hopes

"We hope that God will be our hero. Of all the people in the universe, he could...arrange for just a little more blessing in our lives. He can spin the earth, change the weather, topple governments, obliterate armies, and resurrect the dead. Is it too much to ask that he intervene in our story? But he often seems aloof, almost indifferent to our plight, so entirely out of our control. Would it be any worse if there were no God? If he didn't exist, at least we wouldn't get our hopes up. We would settle once and for all that we really are alone in the universe and get on with surviving as best we may.

This is, in fact, how many professing Christians end up living: as practical agnostics. Perhaps God will come through, perhaps he won't, so I'll be hanged if I'll live as though he had to come through. I'll hedge my bets and if he does show up, so much the better. The simple word for this is godlessness. Like a lover who's been wronged, we guard our heart against future disappointment." (taken from The Sacred Romance by Brent Curtis & John Eldredge, pp 69-70)

I read this about five times upon first catching it in the book, and I just started sobbing after the third time, but I had to read it again and again. It grips me. It pierces my soul. It convicts me and rightly so. I am so guilty of this in my life.

I'm a dreamer. My head is regularly in the clouds imagining something else. I'm a writer. I'm always creating a better ending in my head, but that's not real life. In the real world, I don't expect good things. In fact, I'm actually shocked when good things happen to me as if I'm not expecting much from GOD. When did I get so cynical, so closed off and cold?

HE is the only source of goodness. All of it is in HIM and from HIM.

LORD, please forgive this arrogant ungrateful daughter. Help me to see your goodness. Help me to acknowledge your goodness. Help me to rest in your goodness. Rekindle hope in my heart, LORD.

"Awakened souls are often disappointed, but our disappointment can lead us onward, actually increasing our desire and lifting it towards its true passion...I can let the ache lead me deeper into my heart and higher toward heaven." (taken from The Sacred Romance page 201)

Operation Wedding

I forgot to mention in my previous post that there is a team name for the newly-designated wedding planners. Maurice calls us "Operation Wedding." We have more work to do later this week, and then I'm sure there will be assignments the day of that we are handling, too.

All in all, I'm rather excited about Eric's wedding. He's been a good friend to me, he's a fellow photo nut and just all-around likable guy. I'm glad he has his Jane, and that after their 3-year romance, they are finally tying the knot. WOOHOO!! GOD has worked it all out.

Eric actually takes more photos than I do. NO REALLY!! He always seems to have his camera at the ready. In fact, he infamously took these photos after a certain incident that I don't wish to discuss because I am still rather sensitive about it. HA! I felt like I was quite literally being framed for a crime. OK, now I feel like I have to share the story. See, I was driving my friend John's minivan on the way back from Marengo Cave with some fellow singletons, and suddenly the rear window spontaneously shattered (as you see). I pulled off at a gas station to check things out, and so I got on the cell phone and was trying to give an explanation to John when I didn't really have any. I still don't know if a rock hit the window or if in the heat the window just exploded or what, but luckily no one was hurt, and John and I are still friends. Aren't we, John? HELLO??? Anyway, when I think of Eric, I think of that day with a smile.

Reconnecting with Familiar Faces

I was at the Dwelling Place for a few hours with some old friends this evening. [I still can't call it the DP. We called the “Dating Parlor” at Bob Jones the DP, and I still get chills when I think about it. YIKES!] My friend Eric is getting married next weekend, and several of us were helping the groom's sister, Lise, get the decorations up and ready for the ceremony. The bride will arrive from Taiwan early this next week, and so Lise has been carrying a heavy load and doing the bulk of last minute planning for her brother's wedding. Poor Lise! There is so much to do, and so little time.

There was plenty of mayhem and drama happening this evening, but thankfully there was plenty of comic relief as well. Eric G. (Ro's husband) and Andy (Jenn's husband) had us in stitches several times with their decorating antics. Some of the evening felt like an HGTV pilot episode for What Not to Do for Your Wedding. But it was great fun and definitely took the pressure off as laughter usually does.

I realized just how much I've missed these girl friends that I got to see this evening. Ro's laugh. Lauren's honesty. Jenn's warmth. Lise's sweetness. I don't see them nearly as often as I used to, and I need to be more deliberate in seeking them out. It was great to reconnect. Maybe I'll have to reinstate the Girls Night In [GiNI] again. Perhaps, it is time...

The Sacred Romance: A Review

I've already blogged a bit about how this book has touched, stunned and struck me in some ways, but I've barely scratched the surface at the impact it has made. There is just so much more I could say about The Sacred Romance: Drawing Closer to the Heart of God by Brent Curtis & John Eldredge. If you haven't read this book, feel free to borrow it, that is if you don't mind the obsessive highlighting by yours truly. There is just a lot of good stuff in it. I'll give you some quotes to think over from the first couple of chapters...

“...a voice speaks to us in the midst of all we are doing. There is something missing in all of this, it suggests.There is something more.... We listen and we are aware of...a sigh. And under that sigh is something dangerous, something that feels adulterous and disloyal to the religion we are serving. We sense a passion deep within that threatens a total disregard for the program we are living; it feels reckless, wild.” (page 1)

“We tell ourselves that the malaise of spirit we feel even as we step up our religious activity is a sign of spiritual immaturity and we scold our heart for its lack of fervor. Sometime later, the voice in our heart dares to speak to us again, more insistently this time. Listen to me—there is something more in all this. You long to be in a love affair, an adventure. You were made for something more. You know it... Having so long been out of touch with our deepest longing, we fail to recognize the voice and the One who is calling to us through it. Frustrated by our heart's continuing sabotage of a dutiful Christian life, some of us silence the voice by locking our heart away in the attic, feeding it only the bread and water of duty and obligation until it is almost dead...Come morning, the new day's activities scream for our attention, the sound of the cry is gone, and we congratulate ourselves on finally overcoming the flesh.”
(page 2)

“...the Christian life is a love affair of the heart. It cannot be lived primarily as a set of principles or ethics. It cannot be managed with steps and programs. It cannot be lived exclusively as a moral code leading to righteousness.” (page 8)

“In all of our hearts lies a longing for a Sacred Romance. It will not go away in spite of our efforts over to years to anesthetize or ignore its song, or attach it to a single person or endeavor...The deepest part of our heart longs to be bound together in some heroic purpose with others of like mind and spirit....the Romance has most often come to us in the form of two deep desires: the longing for adventure that requires something of us, and the desire for intimacy--to have someone truly know us for ourselves...” (page 19)

All In How You Play the Game

I went to my oldest nephew Jordan’s varsity soccer game last night, and while the play on the field was exciting, I found the spectators just as amusing.

First of all, my brother Steve was really into the game. He was out of his lawn chair for most of the game, pacing the sidelines, coaching the ref, making comments about the good calls and complaining about the bad. He went on for about 5 minutes about how there should have been a red card given after one of the other team’s players got in the face of one of our players, etc. Now I realize that it was probably NOT my best move as a younger sister to try to bring levity to the situation by telling my brother that if he didn’t calm down, I was going to give him a red card and call Mom. At which point, he laughed and handed me his cell phone, but at least he did laugh.

Farther down the field, there was a mother on the sidelines, and she knew every player by name, which was kinda nice, but she just wouldn’t hush up the whole game. She has one of those voices that carries, and she kept giving the players advice from the stands. “Corey, watch out for the guy on your back.” “To your left, Austin!” “Mark, number 11 is right behind you.” And then she kept saying, “Boys, do the right thing, right.” Now, I think that is a healthy admonishment, but what did it have to do with the game at hand, I wondered. I guess in weeks past, this Mom has brought a cow bell to the games and has jingled it the whole time, but I guess the players (including her son, I imagine) had asked her not to bring it anymore. It was too distracting. I know I was glad she had left it home.

There were other parents that were getting riled up about some of the calls or about some of the other players’ aggression, too. I just sat there rather entertained by the whole scenario. Is this going to be me someday? It’s just a game to me. Let the kids have fun with it.

OK, can someone PLEASE explain what the heck it means to be off sides? I just don’t get it. My brother tried to explain it to me twice last night, and I just couldn’t see it. I like soccer. I just can’t follow that one rule. It doesn't make sense to me.

UPDATE: Crickets

I disposed of another cricket yesterday morning, and so it continues. [sigh!] Now, I've still only seen 6 crickets inside my apartment as opposed to the 49 from last summer, and so I know it could be worse. And hey, I still have my sense of humor...

WAIT A MINUTE!! What was that over there in the corner? ARRGGGHHH!!!

It Was a Good Weekend Part II

SUNDAY
I returned back to College Park Church this week to hear their new pastor. It was an awesome service, and I confess there was a tug on my heart to return again, but I'm going to just keep praying about it. I'm planning to visit a couple more churches in the weeks ahead, and so we'll just see how things go. I want to make sure that I am going where GOD wants me and not just basing a decision on what would be easy, convenient, comfortable, etc.

I watched Ivanhoe on Sunday evening. It has been years since I saw the movie or read Sir Walter Scott's book. I've always preferred Rebecca to Rowena as the heroine of the novel. I like Rebecca's quiet strength and discipline. I know that someone is going to hate me for comparing the 2 novels like this, but Ivanhoe is a bit like Sense and Sensibility in that way. I respect and admire Edward Ferrars for the way he upholds his youthful pledge of love to Lucy Steele, and yet I breathe a sigh of relief every time I read the book and learn that is it is Lucy who frees Edward from their engagement by pursuing his brother. Ivanhoe doesn't have that kind of an ending, but I like it all the same. I understand why it is Rowena that Ivanhoe marries, and while the romantic in me wants to see love conquer all, I don't see how it could work for Ivanhoe and Rebecca. OK, I confess, I might have had just a bit too much time on my hands to think about this.

MONDAY

I went up to Kokomo for the day to see my sister and her family. Instead of grilling out or having a picnic, we all went to McDonald's for lunch. Why you may ask? Well, going to a McDonalds with a playland was a reward for nearly 3-year-old Grace for staying dry for a full week. Yes, my sister only has 1 more to potty train now. WOOHOO!! I'm so proud of Grace! And since Harrison is only 7 months, that is going to be a while. It was fun watching Grace and Jacob play with such exuberance. I loved it!



My sister and I did some shopping while the kids napped, and then Jacob, Grace, Thorn and I watched a movie and goofed off while their parents and Harrison went grocery shopping. I do love the family dog Thorn. He is a bit too excited to show you love. I have the scratches to prove it since he likes to jump on you and basically "dance with you," but he's very sweet.

Almost 6-year-old Jacob made my day. First of all, as we were heading out to lunch, he informed me that he liked my purse. Now I don't know when he started paying attention to accessories, but I liked hearing it all the same. Then later in the afternoon he informed me that I looked like a princess. WOW! That made me smile. Now I must admit that about 1 minute after giving me a serendipitous compliment, he asked if I was going to come back to the living room so we could play a game on the Wii, and so maybe there was an ulterior motive there. But hey, we single girls will take all the compliments we can get. Hee hee!

It was a pretty fabulous weekend all in all. Thank you, LORD!

It Was a Good Weekend Part I

FRIDAY
Kristen and I caught up over dinner at the Olive Garden. Yes, Diet Girl was glad to find that there were some dishes at OG that wouldn't break the diet. It was yummy, and I survived without eating the breadsticks. [sigh!] After dinner, we went through the Egyptian exhibit at the IMA. I really have enjoyed this exhibit, and it was fun introducing it to Kristen. The To Live Forever exhibit is only here in town for another week, and so if you haven't visited yet, you had better hurry in. Tickets are... OOPS! I just went into my volunteer spiel. HA!

We also visited the Star Studio to see the new chair exhibit and made our own paper chair crafts. Yes, this area is typically filled with creative children, and there were a few working alongside us, but Kristen and I had fun decorating our own chairs and laughing at ourselves. It was fun being a kid again for a few minutes.

Yes, there is just something relaxing and calming about the IMA for me. I don't tire of it. Maybe I should rethink the docent thing...

SATURDAY
Becky came over for lunch, and then we watched the first 4 hours of Anne of Green Gables. It's been a few years since I've watched it all the way through, and it brought back memories and made me chuckle. Becky and I took turns reciting lines. Lisa and Barbara: you will be glad to know that I did point out a few of the places I had visited on Prince Edward Island just to keep up the tradition. You know what I'm talking about... "Becky, my family was on that beach, and I have a picture of those red cliffs. And hey, my Mom and I picked lupin in that woods right there."

Both of us decided we couldn't sit through the remaining 4 hours of the 2nd part on the same day, and so we opted to have dinner and then go for a walk along the canal. It was a busy evening downtown due to the upcoming sky concert, but it was still nice to get out, walk and enjoy another fine summer day.