It's such a hard question. My answer for the last 18 years or so has been that I wanted to write, and I still do. I am. But what kind of writer do I want to be?
I always thought I wanted to be the next great female novelist. I was going to be the Jane Austen of my time. I was going to be published by 30 and change the world of literature as we knew it. It would be dramatic, fierce and compelling. I would challenge, make people weep and bring about a insurgent revival of character development in novels.
RIGHT! So that didn't quite pan out. I tried numerous times to get a novel started. I made it through 6 chapters on one attempt, but that was as far as I ever got on any of my novel attempts.
1. The perfectionist in me couldn't just leave my draft alone. I would strive for the perfect phrasing of every line. I was working and reworking each paragraph as I writing it, and I couldn't leave well enough alone. When I should have been just bursting to get the story down on the screen or page, I would get hung up on a particular line and just couldn't move on until it was perfected.
2. I didn't think writing about what I knew was very interesting, and so I kept trying to delve into the depths of my imagination. Well, that didn't work out all that well either. Something was missing. My heart wasn't in it, and I grew discouraged. I never stopped writing entirely, but I didn't share my thoughts with anyone.
Skip ahead a couple of years...here I am 34 years old, and I'm no closer to my earlier dream of becoming the next great American novelist. I don't know what the future holds for me, and yet somehow, I'm OK with the status quo, too. I'm writing. Some of which appears here on my blog. And while I may not be captivating you with my prose or changing the course of destiny with my gripping conviction, I am writing. Writing what I know (which isn't much), but it is my experience, my firsthand knowledge of the world I am encountering daily. I'm enjoying it and rediscovering my love of words. Thanks for joining me, my friend.
2 comments:
Mel,
Just so you know...
your writing style is very engaging, entertaining, and enjoyable! Please keep writing - it is a gift from God in your life.
So, do you consider yourself more of a "story-maker" than a "story-teller"? What part of writing do you find most exciting? Perhaps you and I can find some ways to team up on a writing project?
Your friend,
Kaleb
Thanks for that alliterative compliment, Kaleb! We'll have to chat more about writing soon. I'd like that.
Post a Comment