Perfectly Content -- Is that Possible?

I was amused by this week’s single column that I get emailed from Christianity Today. Frankly, I like to hear that other Christian singles struggle with their go-it-alone lifestyles, too. Hmmmm...that came out wrong! It sounds like I am a dreary pessimist because I want to hear that someone else is suffering, too. HA! I’m not really like that. I'm not. It’s just encouraging to know that I’m not the only one tired of hearing the old adages...things like how I need only be perfectly content with GOD alone and then Mr. Right will finally make an appearance in my life.

I think all the will power and self-discipline in the world is not going to make me perfectly content this side of Heaven, and I have yet to meet anyone else who is perfectly content either. I have wonderful days where I feel loved and accepted by family and friends or days of pure joy as I travel or go exploring something new. I love to laugh and get the most out of each and every day. But contentment isn’t a constant companion. She’s a fickle friend, and I don’t think it’s always a sin to be discontent. Sometimes I think GOD uses that discontentment to get us moving, searching, and making changes in our lives. It’s another reminder that there is more to life than this life we are in now.

So while I typically enjoy my life, my thoughts and desires for a mate travel with me, and there is not a switch in my head that I can flip off to change that. Sure, I can go for days without talking about my desire for marriage, but just under the surface, there is still a little clock ticking away. There is still that desire that GOD gave me for marriage. It’s there just like my desire to know GOD better, my desire to travel, my desire to be a Mom someday, etc. In the past, I’ve fought it off or pretended it wasn’t there. I’ve been Miss Independent (or at least played the part), but it hasn’t changed the fact that I’ve still been wanting something more. So today, I’m embracing it. I'm accepting it.

I WANT TO MARRY ONE DAY! [GASP!] There I said it, and I feel so much better getting it out.

I daydream about meeting someone. What will he be like? I’m eager to hear his thoughts and his dreams. What will his story be? I want to know where GOD has led him, and how he got to where he is now. I’m aching to share things with him, too. After all, I have 30+ years of stories to catch him up on. I ponder the deep and the trivial alike. Will he drink coffee? I’m starting to be more flexible on that point. Will he kill spiders for me? Pretty please!! Will he be obsessed with sports? Will he be a Coke or a Pepsi person?

I don’t think it’s wrong to desire more...but it can become an obsession, and that’s what I need to avoid. Marriage can’t become an idol in my life. I can survive without it. I am surviving without it. Yes, I will be disappointed if I don’t marry, but somehow, I think GOD will take care of that and ease my disappointment, too. I have to trust HIM. What does the future hold? I don’t know, but GOD has already given me so much, and today finds me thankful in my less than perfect contented state right where I am.