Family Fun

Here is a picture of my 5 nieces and 3 nephews on July 4th this year: Carianne, Janet, Grace, Caitlynne, Caleb, Cera, Jordan and Jacob. It was fun to see all of them on the 4th. I love each of them and their distinctive personalities.

Is it Bad to be proud I'm single?

After all, ANY ONE can make it in a pair, but there are only a few of us that can stand alone.

I caught myself thinking this the other day, and I started to laugh. When did I start thinking that my singleness was a badge of courage? You know, like a badge I keep in my purse ready to whip out at the right moment and say:
Please remain calm, folks. I’m SINGLE. I can handle this. See my badge!

It is a positive thing that I’m not moping about in shame because I don’t have a life partner. Sorry, Jane Austen, but I don’t think I could have handled your time period when it was shameful to be unmarried still at 25 let alone 33. And I must say that I’m glad of my independence. I like living alone and am pleased that I’ve formed my own “family” in the people around me. However, I hardly think I’m supposed to be wearing my singleness like a medal of honor or a pageant sash either. There has to be balance somewhere.

The truth is that I seem to have lost some respect for the institution of marriage, and that’s a bit concerning to me. Somehow being out on my own for 10+ years seems to have warped my view. It’s as if I have taken marriage off the pedestal now, which is not altogether a bad thing since I used to revere it more than I should have. But now, marriage has been thrown to the curb and replaced by something else on the pedestal entirely—PRIDE at the status quo.

LORD, help me to respect the institution of marriage even if it’s not for me!

Visit with Jordan

I did enjoy having my 13-year-old nephew Jordan with me for 5 days. We had a lot of fun. He’s all boy, and so there were lots of action movies. We hit the theatres on Saturday morning for LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD. It was pretty good actually, and the fact that I had Bruce Willis to gaze at on the big screen was a plus. We finished up our day of fun with a hike in Holliday Park, where we took a “tan test” photo to demonstrate how we don’t look like we’re related at all...Guess which hand/arm is mine!

My friend Becky and I took Jordan to an Indianapolis Indians game on Sunday afternoon. You Know Who got royally sunburned despite several layers of sunscreen. I just can’t win in the sun…It was a hot day, but Becky, Jordan and I enjoyed the game despite the heat. I found that having 2 frozen icees helped!

One of the Richmond Braves, Doug Clark, really had a great day. He hit 2 homeruns and became Becky’s hero in the process. We always pick our favorite players when we go to a game. Becky did like one of the Indians for about 5 minutes. His name was Russ Johnson, but he was soon abandoned for this Clark guy. It was sad really. She was cheering for the other side most of the game! However, Russ Johnson did redeem himself by hitting the game-winning hit, and so the Indians won their game, which was nice, and Jordan and I were just glad that Clark was on the losing side...LOSER!

On Tuesday, Jordan and I went to Conner Prairie. It was my first visit. I enjoyed touring the old buildings, playing 1886 baseball, learning the history of central Indiana, participating in the Glorious 4th Celebration, etc. It was great fun listening to all the political speeches and patriotic songs as the people in costumes held their own celebration. They read the Declaration of Independence in the 1886 town. It was rather stirring to hear it read aloud and chuckle as they talked about the new states that had joined the union and how the Declaration was only 60 years old. That document is actually rather incredible, and when is the last time you just took the time to read it? So all in all, I liked Conner Prairie; however, I think I’ve been spoiled by the incredible Greenfield Village in Michigan. I love that place, and Conner Prairie just is NOT Greenfield Village.

Jordan's Visit

My 13-year old nephew, Jordan Scott Alan Richard Robert Squdge-mudge Bradley, is coming to spend 5 days with his old Aunt Mel. He called me this morning to let me know he had arrived at my place and was about to start exploring my cable and On Demand features on my TV, which made me laugh. He then proceeded to ask me what I did when I was at work anyway. So I went into my 2-minute spiel about my job, and at the end, he was silent for a bit, and then said, “So you have like a boring job, don’t you?” I told him NO, and that I actually liked my job, but he didn’t seem convinced. HA!

Tonight, I’m not sure what we’ll be doing to get the fun started. Tomorrow, we’re planning to go the early showing of the new DIE HARD movie. Not quite like Jane Austen or a Merchant-Ivory production, but I like Bruce Willis , and so I’ll enjoy the movie for reasons of my own! And yes, Aunt Mel is cheap. The $4 movie tickets before noon on the weekend sound like a winner!

On Sunday, we’ll attend church in the morning and go to an afternoon Indianapolis Indians game with my friend Becky. Monday and Tuesday, we’re planning to visit the Indianapolis Zoo and Conner Prairie, too. All in all, it’s going to be a jam-packed few days. I’ll probably need a vacation from my vacation...but I am really looking forward to these days with Jordan. He’s growing up so fast (already 5 inches taller than me) as it is, and so I’m going to enjoy these precious moments on my own with him while I have them! WOOHOO!!

Saying goodbyes are never easy...

But it must really be hard to say goodbye to a young little life that has barely begun. My friend Ro lost her 7-week-old baby this week. Yalaina Simone was born about 2 months premature due to complications, and she gave quite a fight to survive. Every time the doctors and nurses were ready to give up, she'd rebound and prove them wrong. But this last time, she was't able to pull through. It's so very sad.

She is survived by her loving parents, Ro and Eric, and her two older siblings, Emmi and Bubby. She was well-loved and will be greatly missed by all those whose lives she and her story touched.

I just have to laugh...

For the last couple of months now, I’ve been talking about my upcoming trip to the Dayton Art Institute. It was to be my last viewing of the beautiful man that worked there as a security guard. I wanted to just visit, see him one last time and forget my silly crush of the fair Adonis. My friends were plotting and planning what they were going to say to him to find out his status—i.e. married, single, etc. And another friend had been rehearsing the potential conversation she planned to have with him, in the hopes of obtaining a picture of him.

Well as luck, fate, karma or divine intervention would have it--he was NOT there on Saturday. There were no sightings, no conversations, no pictures of random security guards, and no mayhem. And I for one, found it absolutely hilarious! I think it makes for a better story, don’t you?

I mean for over a year now, I’ve been crushing about this guy I saw on only those two prior occasions. For me, he summed up everything I hadn’t been able to define before--my type. [And of course, by type here, we are going with the shallow ATTRACTION type and not looking at any other qualifications.] If someone asked me to describe my ideal, I’d tell them to go to Dayton and look this man up. Now, I didn’t talk about him constantly. In fact there were periods when I didn’t even think about him at all. This wasn’t an obsession or an unhealthy fantasy. It was a little memory that made me smile when I recalled it.

And my friends have been totally supportive of it. They’ve talked about him, offered to go to Dayton with me, and planned their weekend around this daytrip. I think they were just as excited if not more so than I was.

All that anticipation and planning, all the daydreaming and waiting, and GUESS WHAT--he’s not there! Of course, there were several schools of thought on the fact that he was MIA: 1. He doesn’t work there anymore; 2. Maybe he was just an employee during the big Princess Diana exhibit last year; 3. He had the day off, etc.

But all I wanted to do was LAUGH...laugh because I’d been imagining how it would be to see him one more time and because all the planning and forethought in the world can’t make life turn out exactly as we imagine it will. Laugh because I am blessed to have such great friends who were willing to give up most of their daylight hours to travel 5 miles roundtrip to Dayton, OH, just in hopes of seeing a man that made me smile. Laugh because of the irony of the situation and how I think it’s a better story because we did NOT see him.

Why is it a better story because there was no sighting of this dreamy man? Because it’s a funny story that I convinced my friends to drive 2.5 hours away from their homes on a Saturday just on the chance that we might see him, and when we got there, he wasn’t there. That has to make you chuckle. But we still had fun! We had a great day--enjoying the peaceful ride as Jessica drove us to Dayton, having a leisurely lunch complete with yummy homemade pies, touring the art institute and introducing Becky to another one of Monet’s waterlilly pieces, watching Sara and Kristen sketch faces in the kids’ center, etc. Yes, it was an awesome day despite the missing man!

And maybe the truth is...that the dream of him is better than the man himself! I mean, maybe if we had talked to him, we would have encountered another JERK OR then again, he might have been like the nicest guy in the world! Maybe we would have discovered that he was married, engaged or dating a beautiful Amazonian model goddess OR then again, he might have been desperately searching our globe for a short, overweight, Anglophile female who loves long walks in the shade! [sigh!] No matter, I think it turned out for the best, and for now, I'm not planning any further trips to Dayton. Well, not right away at least...

Asking the Tough Questions

I found out late last week that I was on the interview team for a new hire and that the interviews were starting this week. Let me just say that I’ve learned how very interesting it can be on the OTHER SIDE of the table. It’s not a cake walk to lead an interview. You have to prepare ahead of time, but also be ready to revise your questions on the fly. You have to monitor and assess body language as well as control the discussion and be ready to answer questions yourself. And once the interview ends, your work is only just beginning. Next you have to critique the “performance,” meet with other members of the team and make some judgment calls all based on a couple of sheets of paper and a 30-minute interview. Not an easy task! I guess it can be intimidating on both sides of the table….

I must confess that this new experience has made me highly curious. I think I’d like to see a video of my interview for my current job. I wish I could see how I behaved, how nervous or fidgety I was, whether or not I was myself, etc. Did I talk much? Did I respond to questions well? Did I show any confidence? I mean, I must have exhibited something positive because they hired me, after all.

I don’t really know any one who LIKES interviews. I think they do get easier with time, but it is still not something the majority of us really look forward to. OK, so I guess I’d choose an interview over a dental cleaning. WOW! That’s saying something. 10 years ago, I would have chosen the dental chair without any hesitation...

Listening to an Old Friend

Last Saturday, I briefly went through the Castleton Mall with my friends, Becky and Sara. As we walked through the Von Maur store, I couldn’t help but be impressed by the fact that they had a man playing the piano as they patrons shopped. I must say it was all very pleasant!

It was also a clear indication that I shouldn’t be shopping there...I mean as much as it impressed me that they could afford to pay a man to play the piano to add to the enjoyment of the shopping experience, it was also a blatant sign that I was out of place. I mean, you don’t see that at Wal-mart, Target or Costco, which is a shame really. They should consider it.

Anyway, he was busy playing as we entered the mall. And then later as we headed for the exits, I spotted him heading back to the piano to play some more tunes. What would he play next, I wondered. We continued on our way out the door, and then, just then, I heard it--those all too familiar bars of music drifted across space to me, calling to me softly, gently but undeniably drawing me back. This was no careless tune, no frivoulous melody. This was my song, my very own MOONLIGHT SONATA!

I caught my breath and stopped in my tracks. I turned politely to my friends and dared to ask that we delay our departure for just a moment or two while I reveled in the haunting sounds of an old dear friend. They obliged me, and so I meandered back towards the music through the shoes and accessories department, as I listened to Beethoven’s lilting refrain yet again. It is still pure magic. All to soon, the delicious song was over, and we headed back out into the world of Saturday errands. (sigh!)

Yes, my tastes in music have changed over the years, but some things never change. Beethoven still speaks to me like none other...

Number 9...

My sister is expecting baby number 3 in February of next year, and I am so excited. I am elated! Delighted! Ecstatic! 238 days to go, but it’s always worth the wait. I love being an Aunt. It’s a wonderful experience…

I first became an aunt, one week shy of my 16th birthday when my brother Steve and his wife Tara gave birth to Janet Renee. It was so cool to be an Aunt in high school. My sister and I were on top of the world at being such young aunts. And then 4 years later, I got a call from my family while a sophomore in college that Janet had a new baby brother, Jordan Scott.

Soon after Jordan’s arrival, my brother Chuck and his wife Lisa had a son of their own, Caleb Richard. A couple of years later, the delightful Caitlynne Rae was added to their family followed by the incorrigible Carianne Rose and the sweet, shy Cera Ruth.

In 2002, I was away at a weekend singles retreat while my sister Barbara started in with her labor. I drove home to Indianapolis that Sunday and packed an overnight bag and headed to Kokomo. I got there just a couple of hours before Jacob Edward made his way into the world. And nearly 3 years later, Grace Anna was born.

And now there is another precious sweet child on the way, and I find myself giddy with anticipation. Life is good!

Forgive the Shy Smile…

But next weekend, we’re going back to Dayton, where I hope to see “Mr. Clean” security guard and say goodbye to my year-long obsession with him as an ideal! So forgive the silly grin, I can’t seem to let it go.

There is a great deal of “risk” here as to whether or not I see him. What if he got another job and has moved on? What if he is off next Saturday? What if he has some slimy, model-like, anorexic girlfriend attached to his arm? [OK, let’s not go there! Think happy thoughts...]

The plan is for me to see him one last time, sigh a little bit, wipe the drool off my chin and let go of the memory. Let go of those brief short nanoseconds when our eyes met, and for a fraction of an instant, I glimpsed his soul. [WOW! That’s good. I like that...let me write that down.] I guess it's just time to say goodbye.

Of course, if my 4 single girlfriends have anything to do with it, there will be more than gawking across the room. Kristen is planning to strike up a conversation with him and ask if she can take his picture. She’s already working on a story about a friend that visited the art institute last year and commented on the hot security guard she saw there. [Hopefully he’ll be oblivious to THAT friend standing right behind Kristen, trying to keep from giggling like she’s 14 or running away from sheer embarrassment!] And who knows what other schemes Jessica, Sara and Becky are working on now...

All right, I realize that married people might think single people are silly sometimes. After all, we have so much freedom, so much time, SO MUCH...and yet, we're always looking for more. But it’s rough out there on your own. It can be brutal. And trust me, if you were 33, single, romantic and desperate for a love to call your own, you’d find yourself clinging to a dream some days just because you can. After all...

"Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all..."

[Thanks, Emily]