Tuesday Morning Torture

I like many Americans dread going to the dentist. In fact, I'm learning just how many of my fellow citizens live in fear of the dental chair. WOW! There is just something about those wickedly sharp torturous tools on the counter, the sound of that drill in my ear, the white knuckle grip I have on the arm rests as they start into my mouth, etc. It's just not really something I look forward to, but I go twice a year just like they recommend.

I've been going to the same dental office for several years now, and I always had the same dental hygienist, Mary, cleaning my teeth every time, and I was quite happy with that pattern. Well, about 3 years ago, I got switched from Mary to the new hygienist,Carrie, who was fresh out of school and VERY thorough. However, while I knew that I was probably getting the cleanest teeth ever, Carrie's touch was less than gentle, and I would be sore for days afterwards. Not just a sore mouth, but tender gums, bruised cheeks, swollen lips, etc. I'd leave the office feeling like I was just in a fight (not that I'd know what that feels like, but I could imagine). Anyway, Carrie was not a pleasant change for me. I missed Mary, but I didn't know what to do about it.

Was the switch permanent?
Was this punishment from my dentist for not flossing more?

I saw Carrie twice that year, and then miraculously, I got moved back to Mary's roster. [sigh!] So for the last year and a half, I have been quite happy with my dental experience. I still didn't look forward to my dental cleanings, by any means, but I felt better about going when I knew I was going to see Mary.

Well, today I headed to the dentist, checked in and sat down comfortably. A moment later the receptionist stuck her head out the window and said, "Melanie, I will let Carrie know that you are here." I just smiled and nodded, and then I wondered if she could visibly see the change in my demeanor. Oh no, I thought. I'm going to be so sore all week, and I wanted some ice cream tonight, but now eating ice cream will be painful! UGH! I just sat there, flipping through a magazine and pondering if I should talk to the receptionist on the way out about getting put back on Mary's list. Hmmmmm...

Soon I got taken back into Carrie's domain, had my chair leaned back and got my bib strapped on. And as you can imagine, I was trying to be as pleasant as possible, but inside I was rather annoyed. I was trying to mentally prepare for the pain. Carrie came in all perky and happy, we traded the usual polite niceties, and then she started in with the tools. And I waited for the pain. Then I waited some more. But I didn't feel anything. Carrie was still being very thorough, but there was something different. She was using a much more gentle touch. Before I knew it, the appointment was all over, and I was saying my goodbyes and getting my next appointment set up.

I got to my car and just started laughing with relief. The third time's the charm, I guess. Carrie did an awesome job. Thank you, LORD! That was a much more pleasant experience.

Good Morning!

We are thankful for that which we’ve been given.
Or is it We are thankful for the time we’ve been given...?
I’m not sure, but either way, I love that line in M. Night Shyamalan’s The Village.

1. I’m thankful for the love of a Heavenly FATHER. I’m still struggling under the weight of some big burdens right now, but in the midst of it all, I still can feel HIS love wrapped around me. Sometimes, I’d like to be held a little tighter to keep the struggles at a distance, but HE is right there in the midst of them with me, reminding me that I am never alone.

2. I’m thankful for some awesome girlfriends that have been such a loving encouragement to me lately...

2a. On Friday night, Becky got me out for a walk and talk when I really just wanted to crawl into bed and hide under the covers for the whole weekend. Then on Saturday, she and I headed to Conner Prairie to use up my get-in-free tickets. WOOHOO!! That was spontaneous and fun. I’ll have to post the photos later.

I’m sorry to report that I have a new nickname from Becky. She now calls me “Little Miss Muffet.” Yes, there was a spider incident on Saturday. This villainous, massive spider jumped down right in front of me at our picnic table. I screamed, and he/she jumped down to the ground at my feet, and I moved quicker than I thought possible. YOU KNOW WHO was laughing the entire time. I confess that I, however, was not as easily amused.

2b. Sunday after church, I spent the day with my friend Kristen. We had a delicious lunch out and then headed back to my place to talk more and just hang out. We caught up on all that GOD was doing in each other’s lives and discussed prayer requests. It was a refreshing afternoon. Later, we watched a couple of movies while Kristen crocheted, and I dismantled another non-PVC-free magnetic photo album. I was reminded again just how much I love Dan in Real Life. There is just something awesome about that movie that touches me and makes me smile every time.

3. I’m thankful for my sister. She might be 2 years younger than me, but she is always a good source of Godly wisdom for her big sister, too. Thanks, Sis, for your time, your prayers and your love!

4. I’m thankful for my wonderful parents, and for their example as prayer warriors. I love how both of them always remind me that they are praying for me. I needed to hear that this weekend.

5. I’m thankful for my job. Yes, I’m past whelmed right now. I’m completely overwhelmed, but somehow, I know that I will survive, and the projects will get done. I am reminding myself that I need to be thankful for the overtime funds. My England trip is only seven-and-a-half months away, and I’m hoping to buy a new camera for the adventure, and so the money will come in handy for sure.

6. I'm thankful for Diet Mountain Dew. I know Miss-Already-Far-Too-Wired-for-Her-Own-Good probably doesn't need to have caffeine, but I had a Diet Dew with my granola bar for breakfast this morning, and WOW! am I ever happy! That's some good stuff! I can't make a habit of it, but it sure got me going this morning.

7. I’m thankful for today--for this moment and that moment and the moment before that. None of us know how much time we have been given. There is a lot of unknown things about life, lots of uncertainties and doubts, but this much we can know for certain – GOD is WHO HE says HE is.

And the Word was
And the Word is
And the Word will be…*

May GOD reveal to each of us the blessings and bounty in our lives this week!

*Taken from Sara Groves’ album Conversations (1999), song entitled The Word [Thanks, Bethany, for first introducing me to the musical stylings of Sara Groves!]

Dear eHarmony,

Thank you for once again sending me unsolicited emails trying to entice me to return to your matchmaking site by indicating that I have multiple matches waiting for me. Thanks for the heads up, but I feel the need once again to decline.

I am trying to appreciate your slightly intrusive interest in my prospective matrimonial pursuits. However, I feel the need to be honest and to define our relationship at this time. I have decided to continue my romantic search on my own without the aid of etools, lengthy questionnaires or computer compatibility profiling.

I understand that the above listed methods you utilize have proven romantically enticing and effective with a percentage of the population. I’ve viewed your commercials. I’ve read articles about your service. I’ve heard first-hand accounts from those who have had success at finding love through your processes. I wish these individuals all the best in their endeavors, and I'm happy for them, but I just won't be joining their ranks at this time.

No, I'm not seeing another dating or love link website--honest. Although, I did hear from one of your rival Christian dating sites just today. They suggested that I join up and come "Flirt with fellow sexy Christian singles." But somehow, that tag line didn't lure me or get the reaction they had hoped for. I'm quite sure that their service is not for me either.

Don't be too disheartened. It's nothing personal. It's not you, it's me. Call me old fashioned. Call me cautious. I'm just wanting something more, and I've already got SOMEONE working on it. You see, my Heavenly FATHER and I continue to have some great conversations on this very topic, and HE knows my deepest thoughts and longings. HE knows me better than I know myself, and I'm learning to trust HIM in all things including my future hopes and dreams. My life is actually not my own. It belongs to ANOTHER, ONE much greater than myself. My existence on this planet is just a tiny fraction of the bigger story...the story of HIS redemptive love for mankind.

So while others may find your services helpful and valuable to them, I don't think you and I are a match. And until GOD says otherwise, I'm just going to leave all of this in HIS more-than-capable hands.

Thanks anyway.

Me as a Snake Charmer??

Yesterday, one of my attorneys (Carl) brought me a clip from his Survival Guide calendar on "How to Escape from a Python." This sparked off an interesting conversation...

Him: Let me get this straight--you hate spiders, but you don’t mind snakes?

Me: Yes, I know. I’m a walking contradiction. But, you see, spiders are actually out to get me. They deliberately taunt me. Snakes don’t do that. I’m not a fan of poisonous snakes really, but I do like pythons and boa constrictors.

Him: Are you kidding me? You LIKE pythons?

Me: Yeah. Why is that so weird? I like constrictors and non-poisonous snakes. I had a baby king snake named Slick as my pet at Camp Spearhead. I would carry him around in my hands or in my pocket, and the campers loved him. He was so sweet. He’d curl up in my pocket and sleep.

Him: You had a pet snake? I’m not buying it. Bring in the pictures.

Me: Will do. I’m writing myself a note now. Now did you want to see the boa constrictor photos, too?

OK, so maybe it seems odd that I have such a deathly fear and loathing of spiders, but I don't mind snakes. I can't explain it really. It's just the way things are.

So today, I brought in these photos**, and Carl was quite shocked. He said he was so sorry he didn't believe me. Now I could not find any good photos of Slick the king snake to show him, but these shots of me and Tip, a red-tailed boa constrictor, did the trick. Carl wouldn't stop talking about it all day...

1. He called me a snake charmer, which just made me laugh. Right! That's so me.

2. Then he started calling me a "daughter of Eve." Ommmm...aren't we all sons and daughters of Eve?

3. Later he accused me of being from the House of Slytherin (Harry Potter), and I just hissed at him in return. So, he said that was all the proof he needed. I quite clearly can speak Parseltongue, which definitely puts me in league with he who shall not be named. I tried to defend myself. I insisted that I was just a muggle, but he wouldn't have any part of that.

So the debate was waged all day. HA! It was a good, much-needed stress reliever, I think. Carl even insisted on buying my lunch today because he hadn't believed my story yesterday. It all just made me laugh!

**Photos from 2002

Footballization: Defining a New Word

Footballization **
Function: noun
Date: September 19, 2008
1: the action, process, or result of making a populace obsessed with the game of American football
2: the abuse of the medium of television to play continual extended coverage of every football game being played in the United States on the 4th Thursday of the month of November
3: the over-use of airwaves to chronicle, discuss and feed the over-stimulated-sport-fanatic-masses with all things relating to American football

Usage Example: see previous post

**Taken from the unabridged dictionary of Mel Bradley, 2008**

I Love Autumn!

Every year about this time, the excitement starts to build. Maybe it's the sight of candy corn at Meijer that gets me going, but whatever it is, I know that fall is on the way, and I get psyched. Yes, I think autumn is my favorite time of year.

THE WEATHER: I know everyone thinks it gets cold or chilly too fast, but come on, it's lovely and refreshing. It's just jeans and sweater weather. [Say sweater weather 5 times...it's quite a tongue twister. HA!] I guess I'm still a Michigan girl. I still seem to have the cold water of the Great Lakes flowing through my veins, and so I love the cooler temps of the fall, the crisp autumn air, the swirling wind, etc. It's wonderful!

THE OUTDOORS: I love to rake leaves into piles and crash into them. Can't get enough of that awesome crunch sound! And who doesn't love a hayride (besides Kristen--sorry to bring it up, but I know you have your reasons)! I think I went on at least one hayride every year in Michigan, and then at camp, I was on a hayride at least twice a week. I loved that. We'd sing loudly and just have a great time! Of course, there is the downside of having to pull pieces of hay or straw out of my hair for the rest of the day thanks to the boys (you know who you are), but those were still really good times!

I love the smell of fall, too. There is just something in the air (beside pollution) that tickles my nose. That fresh scent lingers in the great outdoors. I love bonfires and roasting hotdogs or marshmallows, too. It's delightful.

THE FOOD: Candy corn is pretty awesome! I should look up the WW points for it. Hmmmmm...1 oz. is 2 points. I wonder how many pieces that is? HA! I love pumpkin stuff -- pumpkin pie, pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin muffins. YUM! I love going to an apple orchard and picking my own apples. I miss Michigan's apple orchards. Apple-picking make me think of caramel apples and apple cider and... OOPS! Diet Girl is digressing here. Somehow this conversation is going to lead back to donuts, I just know it, and I just can't have that!! Hee hee!

THE SEASON: With fall just around the corner, that means that Thanksgiving is coming up fast. Only 10 weeks from yesterday. WOOHOO!! Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday despite the over footballization of the day. Uh-oh! I think I just made a new word. Anyway, I love Thanksgiving: counting my blessings and the gifts GOD has placed in my life, spending time with family, eating tasty food, taking an adventurous walk with my nieces and nephews, playing board games if it's cold or going to the park if it's not, making memories and capturing them on film, etc. Yeah, it's a favorite day of mine. I really enjoy it.

Well, autumn is on it's way this year, and I'm ready.

Come On -- Learn to Take a Compliment, Mel!

It happened yesterday at work. A random co-worker that I don't know very well came up to me and gave me a compliment about my appearance, and I could literally feel myself blushing. I said thank you, and then I headed back to my desk. But inside my head, I was already churning...Why did she say that? That was nice of her, but it's not true.

Now, I don't know if lots of women struggle with this or not. But I know a few who do, and I am one of them. I just don't seem to know how to take a compliment well. I start to blush, I act flustered, I get embarrassed. I don't know how to respond. I have learned over the years how to outwardly respond more graciously to compliments, i.e. thanking people for their kind words. But inwardly, I still struggle with the proper response. Why am I questioning another person's sincerity? Am I giving off a false sense of modesty and humility?

I am not my own. I was bought with a price. I was created and formed by THE GOD that made the heavens and the earth and all living things. So when I laugh off or reject the kind words of others, am I rejecting the gift of GOD in my life? Am I mocking the beauty of HIS creation? I hope not. But just thinking about this today has me challenging myself to be careful how I respond to compliments.

Psalm 139:13-15 [NKJV]

For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

LORD, thank you for making me the way that you did. I am your handiwork. Help me to be more grateful of that fact. Help me to receive compliments more graciously from others. YOU do not make mistakes, LORD. Help me to be a reflection of YOUR beauty and the joy of my Salvation.

This Song Is In My Head...

And I can't seem to shake it this week. Not a bad thing to have playing over and over in my head at all.

Remember surrender.
Remember the rest.
Remember that weight lifting off of your chest.
And realizing that it's not up to you and it never was.

Remember surrender.
Remember relief.
Remember how tears rolled down both of your cheeks.
As the warmth of a heavenly father came closing in.

I want to do that again.
Why can't I live there.
And make my home.
In sweet surrender.
I want to do so much more than remember.

Remember surrender.
Remember peace.
Remember how soundly you fell fast asleep.
In the face of your troubles your future still shone like the morning sun.

Remember surrender.
Remember that sound.
Of all of those voices dying down.
But one who speaks clearly of helping and healing you deep within.

I want to do that again.
Why can't I live there.
And make my home.
In sweet surrender.
I want to do so much more than remember.
Remember.
Oh surrender.
I want to do that again.
Oh why can't I live there and make my home.
In sweet surrender.
I want to do so much more than remember.
Remember.

Remember surrender.
Remember the rest.
Remember that weight lifting off of your chest.
And realizing that it's not up to you and it never was...

**Music and Lyrics by Sara Groves

Distractions

I took the back roads through Clermont to get to my doctor appointment in Brownsburg this morning. You know me. I love country drives and finding a million and one ways to get from point A to point B. Driving along 2-lane country roads reminds me of life in the thumb of Michigan, I guess.

Today I was enjoying the country drive along the corn fields and small town life so much that I passed the road to my doctor's office. That's never happened before. It made me laugh. I was just so distracted listening to tunes and enjoying the drive. By the time I realized I had missed my turn and gotten back to that corner, I was almost late for my appointment, which is a first for this anal, retentive, got-to-be-on-time girl. My Dad instilled the values of punctuality in his kids, to be sure.

As I sat waiting in the doctor's office, I started thinking about life's distractions. Sometimes these distractions are good--like how GOD sometimes keeps us busy focusing on others instead of worrying about our own problems. HE's been doing that a lot lately in my own life. I turn to HIM with something that is burdening my heart, hoping HE can give me answers to my questions and direct my path. Instead of providing me with all that understanding I think I need, HE puts me into action by providing opportunities to help and serve others. And if I'm not careful about my attitude and if I am far too focused on my self, I might just miss those chances to be used in someone else's life. These distractions are sometimes HIS answer to my questions. HIS way of saying: Just wait. And while you are waiting, here is an opportunity to share MY love...

UPDATE: **Monday Morning Madness

I woke up to very little water pressure in my apartment. Not fun! Some of you may recall, I had 8 days last year without any hot water, and so I get a bit on edge with water problems. I still shiver when I think about those cold showers. Hee hee!

Today, I think that a water main broke or something. At least that is my unofficial diagnosis from my drive-by perusal of the situation. There was lots of running water outside on one side of the complex, and there were guys working underground when I left before 7 this morning, and so hopefully, I'll have better water pressure tonight. [Fingers crossed!]

So I'm continuing to count my blessings:

1. I had enough water to get ready with a bath this morning. A bit out of the ordinary, but I'm clean.

2. My hair is just fine in a pony tail for one day. And hey, I think I'm starting to look older than 14 in a pony tail. I think I could pass for 18 now. WOOHOO!!

3. I did laundry yesterday and ran the dishwasher on Saturday night.

4. If the mayhem continues, I can always take showers and get ready at the fitness center here at work. That could be interesting, but it could work.

5. I don't have to pay for a plumber or maintenance on the pipes if something is wrong. Now, that is really a cool perk of apartment life.

See, things are looking up already! I hope everyone has an incredibly wonderful Monday! Enjoy your day.

**UPDATE: WOOHOO!! I am pleased to report that I had lots of water pressure when I got home.

Seeing Lives Merged

I love weddings. There is just something special about them...Eric & Jane's wedding and reception was fabulous. Jane was elegantly glamorous in her 2 wedding gowns (1 for the wedding and 1 for the reception). Eric was glowing and couldn't take his eyes off his bride. It was a long but beautiful day, and the forecasted rain held back. GOD is good.

I got to spend the day with friends old and new. Jenn, Adam, Patty and I rushed to the reception at Rick's to finish decorating for the reception. We were hanging paper lanterns, lighting candles, wrapping twinkle lights around the deck railing, sprinkling sea shells around, setting up the gift and guestbook tables, etc. Ro told me the other day that she thinks I was meant to be a wedding planner. Hmmmmm...I'm all about the details and organization, but I don't think I'm quite ready to switch career paths. Working with attorneys and inventors in stressful enough for me, thank-you-very-much. HA! I sat with Jessica & George who had driven in from New Jersey for the wedding and had fun with their boys Winston and Russell.

I caught up with Maurice & Sally and learned about all the mayhem that Maurice & Co. and Sally & "her girls" have gotten into (AHEM!). I don't see enough of you guys. We need to do dinner soon. I met Lisa and Wendy who had flown in from Texas to be with Jane on her day.

I got to reconnect with Phil, Steve and Jeff, 3 of my old cohorts from Teknon Theou days. I miss these guys. We reminisced and talked about the people we still were in touch with...who was where, who was married, what happened to so and so, etc. I also met some of Jane's family from Taiwan as I went from table to table taking guest photos. Some of them couldn't speak English, but somehow they knew what I wanted and posed for shots anyway. Very cute!

It was awesome to catch up with Dave & GayeLynne and their 2 girls, Jenna and Penny. I didn't even know they had a 2nd daughter, and she (Penny) is 16 months old already. WOW! How quickly time flies!


GOD and I took a walk and enjoyed the sunset over Eagle Creek together. Moments like this, I long to share with someone else. I really do. But the sunset was still beautiful, and somehow GOD kept those feelings at bay, and I was able to enjoy the lovely moment and be refreshed before wandering back into the sea of people at the reception.

Yes, I know that GOD will continue to provide for my needs and surprise me with HIS love. Thank you for such beauty, LORD!

To Post or Not to Post

Yesterday, I waffled back and forth on whether or not to post my last blog, but then I realized that my hesitation was just feeding the issue I have with this topic NOT being discussed among Christians. I find that it's almost a taboo topic in some Christian circles. So by NOT saying something and sharing what GOD was teaching me, I felt that I was being yet another Christian who wouldn't talk about sexual purity openly. And thus, I decided to post and not mask the ongoing struggle.

My friend Kaleb blogged about this topic in recent weeks, and I liked the direct way he phrased it, and so I'm going to quote him below. [Kaleb, I hope you don't mind.]

It’s time to bring the sexual appetites, insecurities, infidelities, improprieties, and deviancies into the light of Christ Jesus. He is the only one who offers true sexual wholeness, without which all of our dating and marriage experiences will be frustrated and mysteriously elude us...

I understand that this topic is for mature audiences only, but I don't think the Church should be silent on it either, especially in light of the generations behind us.

Romans 12:1 I APPEAL to you therefore, brethren, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship. [The Amplified Bible]

I Corinthians 6:15-20 Do you not see and know that your bodies are members (bodily parts) of Christ (the Messiah)? Am I therefore to take the parts of Christ and make [them] parts of a prostitute? Never! Never! Or do you not know and realize that when a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? The two, it is written, shall become one flesh. But the person who is united to the Lord becomes one spirit with Him. Shun immorality and all sexual looseness [flee from impurity in thought, word, or deed]. Any other sin which a man commits is one outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the Holy Spirit Who lives within you, Whom you have received [as a Gift] from God? You are not your own, you were bought with a price [purchased with a preciousness and paid for, [made His own]. So then, honor God and bring glory to Him in your body. [The Amplified Bible]

No Matter How You Look At It

This topic has been floating around in my head for quite a while, but I just didn't have the words or gumption yet to put it out there. Well, I think I'm ready at last to clear my head and blog about it. So bear with me here...Mel is about to leave her G rating.

Besides the Olympics, I haven't watched a lot of TV or movies lately, but recently I sat down to catch up on a couple of shows on my DVR. I was watching an episode of Bones (a crime drama). The main character (aka Bones) was talking to another woman about her love interest. He was seeing lots of other women and had quite the reputation, and by seeing other women, I mean he was sleeping around with multiple women. So Bones asked the other women if it bothered her, and this second woman said, "No. It doesn't bother me. A woman wants a man with lots of experience."

I actually started choking on my baked tortilla chips and salsa at that point. I felt like I was going to throw up. It really bothered me. I paused the show and ranted and raved for a few minutes with my house plants as my audience on how disgusting that thought was. Yes, my debating skills were lost on my house plants, but I just had to talk to someone. I actually felt like I needed to take a shower after hearing that comment.

Really now!! Why would you want to be with someone who has been with so many other partners? I don't understand that. I know that the world and Hollywood would have us believe that you have to try out your partner before you get too serious. To the world, it seems too risky and silly to save yourself for marriage. You have to experiment with multiple partners to find the right match. Movies like the Forty-Year-Old Virgin and others make fun of those who wait. Everyone is doing it, after all. It's the "norm" now. Times have changed, and we have to change with them. Or do we?

Just because some of our culture accepts unmarried sex does not change the fact that it is sin. Yes, we live in a sex-obsessed culture. And for the Christian, it means that there are ever-increasing temptations around us every day, but GOD hasn't moved on the issue. This isn't a gray area to GOD at all. HE still calls the unmarried to purity and the married to fidelity with their marriage partner. No matter how you look at it, it is sin to act otherwise.

Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous. [Amplified Bible]

I also like the directness of the same verse in The Message:

Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.

GOD did not create us for casual intimacy at all, and yet our culture is saturated with it. Almost every magazine, TV show or movie has something about sex in it. I was sitting in my doctor's office a couple of months ago flipping through a magazine while I was waiting, and I found myself flabbergasted at what the Ladies Home Journal was telling me.

I know it's hard out there. Sexual purity is NOT just something that men struggle with. This is an area where women struggle, too. Both sexes were created with a desire for intimacy. I don't fully comprehend it or understand how to keep that desire in check as a single woman ALL of the time. GOD and I have conversations about this very thing quite often, and there aren't always easy answers.

I recently started rereading Elisabeth Elliott's Passion for Purity. [OK, rereading is probably a bit strong. I never made it all the way through her book the first time because I got hung up on her writing style. It's not my favorite, but I've heard good things about this book again recently, and thought I'd try it once more.] So, anyway, I started reading her book again, and this time, GOD has adjusted my editorial attitude and is teaching me through her book. She doesn't give the reader 5 steps to keep your mind fixed on GOD or the 4 steps to keeping your thoughts pure. The teaching she gives is simple: turn to HIM, rest in HIM, surrender all to HIM. Don't give up! Don't trick yourself into falling for a momentary pleasure. Don't deceive yourself that this is as good as it gets.

As C.S. Lewis wrote in Mere Christianity:

If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.

GOD is faithful. HE is sovereign. HE called me to HIMSELF. And to honor HIM, I need to obey HIM in all things. LORD, keep me close.

I'm weak
I'm poor
I'm broken, Lord,
But I'm your's
Hold me now...*

*Taken from "Hold Me Now" by Jennifer Knapp

How Wide Is Your Love

Every year on this day, there is a man standing on the West 38th Street over pass above 465 waving a large American flag. I know why he’s there. He was there on September 11, 2001 when I somberly drove home from work. He was there last year on this day and the year before and the year before that, too. He returns each year to remind us. He doesn’t want us to forget that tragic day 7 years ago that rocked the world.

And yet there is ANOTHER WHO comes to mind today. HE too rocked the world only HE laid down HIS life to save it.

After I passed the man with the flag this morning and started on my Northbound commute on 465, I listened to this song of remembrance in my car...

*How wide is Your love
That You would stretch Your arms
And go around the world
And why for me would a Savior's cry be heard

I don't know
Why You went where I was meant to go
I don't know
Why You love me so

Those were my nails
That was my crown
That pierced Your hands and Your brow
Those were my thorns
Those were my scorns
Those were my tears that fell down
And just as You said it would be
You did it all for me
After You counted the cost
You took my shame, my blame
On my cross

How deep is Your grace
That you could see my need
And chose to take my place
And then for me, these words I'd hear You say

Father no
Forgive them for they know not what they do
I will go
Because I love them so

Those were my nails
That was my crown
That pierced Your hands and Your brow
Those were my thorns
Those were my scorns
Those were my tears that fell down
And just as You said it would be
You did it all for me
After You counted the cost
You took my shame, my blame
On my cross*

LORD, forgive me. How easily I forget what YOU did in love for me—YOU took my place. Thank you!

*“On My Cross” as sung by FFH; words and music by Jeromy Deibler

Diet Girl Celebrates 50 Pound Loss and Vows to Press On!

Last week, I lost almost 3 pounds and was just shy of my first big goal of 50 pounds lost. So this week, I was a bit excited and anxious to step on the scales. I only needed .4 pounds lost to make it to 50. Here goes...

Well, I lost 1.6 pounds, and so I broke right through 50 and am now down 51.2 pounds since April 1st. WOOHOO!! I'm very excited. I took a moment to let it all sink in. I can now reward myself with a new bicycle, which I am thrilled about. And yes, Becky, I will be looking at new bike helmets, too.

I'm going to savor this moment and enjoy it...[sigh!]

OK, enough of that, there is more work to be done. Lots of walking and biking to do while the weather holds, and I still need to come up with my exercise plan for the winter months. Hmmmmm...I'm still pondering all my options.

Thank you to all my friends and family who have been so encouraging over the last 5+ months. Thank you to my sister for coming along on this WW journey with me. Thank you, LORD, for life and for giving me the strength and stamina to let go of donuts!

High Hopes

"We hope that God will be our hero. Of all the people in the universe, he could...arrange for just a little more blessing in our lives. He can spin the earth, change the weather, topple governments, obliterate armies, and resurrect the dead. Is it too much to ask that he intervene in our story? But he often seems aloof, almost indifferent to our plight, so entirely out of our control. Would it be any worse if there were no God? If he didn't exist, at least we wouldn't get our hopes up. We would settle once and for all that we really are alone in the universe and get on with surviving as best we may.

This is, in fact, how many professing Christians end up living: as practical agnostics. Perhaps God will come through, perhaps he won't, so I'll be hanged if I'll live as though he had to come through. I'll hedge my bets and if he does show up, so much the better. The simple word for this is godlessness. Like a lover who's been wronged, we guard our heart against future disappointment." (taken from The Sacred Romance by Brent Curtis & John Eldredge, pp 69-70)

I read this about five times upon first catching it in the book, and I just started sobbing after the third time, but I had to read it again and again. It grips me. It pierces my soul. It convicts me and rightly so. I am so guilty of this in my life.

I'm a dreamer. My head is regularly in the clouds imagining something else. I'm a writer. I'm always creating a better ending in my head, but that's not real life. In the real world, I don't expect good things. In fact, I'm actually shocked when good things happen to me as if I'm not expecting much from GOD. When did I get so cynical, so closed off and cold?

HE is the only source of goodness. All of it is in HIM and from HIM.

LORD, please forgive this arrogant ungrateful daughter. Help me to see your goodness. Help me to acknowledge your goodness. Help me to rest in your goodness. Rekindle hope in my heart, LORD.

"Awakened souls are often disappointed, but our disappointment can lead us onward, actually increasing our desire and lifting it towards its true passion...I can let the ache lead me deeper into my heart and higher toward heaven." (taken from The Sacred Romance page 201)

Operation Wedding

I forgot to mention in my previous post that there is a team name for the newly-designated wedding planners. Maurice calls us "Operation Wedding." We have more work to do later this week, and then I'm sure there will be assignments the day of that we are handling, too.

All in all, I'm rather excited about Eric's wedding. He's been a good friend to me, he's a fellow photo nut and just all-around likable guy. I'm glad he has his Jane, and that after their 3-year romance, they are finally tying the knot. WOOHOO!! GOD has worked it all out.

Eric actually takes more photos than I do. NO REALLY!! He always seems to have his camera at the ready. In fact, he infamously took these photos after a certain incident that I don't wish to discuss because I am still rather sensitive about it. HA! I felt like I was quite literally being framed for a crime. OK, now I feel like I have to share the story. See, I was driving my friend John's minivan on the way back from Marengo Cave with some fellow singletons, and suddenly the rear window spontaneously shattered (as you see). I pulled off at a gas station to check things out, and so I got on the cell phone and was trying to give an explanation to John when I didn't really have any. I still don't know if a rock hit the window or if in the heat the window just exploded or what, but luckily no one was hurt, and John and I are still friends. Aren't we, John? HELLO??? Anyway, when I think of Eric, I think of that day with a smile.

Reconnecting with Familiar Faces

I was at the Dwelling Place for a few hours with some old friends this evening. [I still can't call it the DP. We called the “Dating Parlor” at Bob Jones the DP, and I still get chills when I think about it. YIKES!] My friend Eric is getting married next weekend, and several of us were helping the groom's sister, Lise, get the decorations up and ready for the ceremony. The bride will arrive from Taiwan early this next week, and so Lise has been carrying a heavy load and doing the bulk of last minute planning for her brother's wedding. Poor Lise! There is so much to do, and so little time.

There was plenty of mayhem and drama happening this evening, but thankfully there was plenty of comic relief as well. Eric G. (Ro's husband) and Andy (Jenn's husband) had us in stitches several times with their decorating antics. Some of the evening felt like an HGTV pilot episode for What Not to Do for Your Wedding. But it was great fun and definitely took the pressure off as laughter usually does.

I realized just how much I've missed these girl friends that I got to see this evening. Ro's laugh. Lauren's honesty. Jenn's warmth. Lise's sweetness. I don't see them nearly as often as I used to, and I need to be more deliberate in seeking them out. It was great to reconnect. Maybe I'll have to reinstate the Girls Night In [GiNI] again. Perhaps, it is time...

The Sacred Romance: A Review

I've already blogged a bit about how this book has touched, stunned and struck me in some ways, but I've barely scratched the surface at the impact it has made. There is just so much more I could say about The Sacred Romance: Drawing Closer to the Heart of God by Brent Curtis & John Eldredge. If you haven't read this book, feel free to borrow it, that is if you don't mind the obsessive highlighting by yours truly. There is just a lot of good stuff in it. I'll give you some quotes to think over from the first couple of chapters...

“...a voice speaks to us in the midst of all we are doing. There is something missing in all of this, it suggests.There is something more.... We listen and we are aware of...a sigh. And under that sigh is something dangerous, something that feels adulterous and disloyal to the religion we are serving. We sense a passion deep within that threatens a total disregard for the program we are living; it feels reckless, wild.” (page 1)

“We tell ourselves that the malaise of spirit we feel even as we step up our religious activity is a sign of spiritual immaturity and we scold our heart for its lack of fervor. Sometime later, the voice in our heart dares to speak to us again, more insistently this time. Listen to me—there is something more in all this. You long to be in a love affair, an adventure. You were made for something more. You know it... Having so long been out of touch with our deepest longing, we fail to recognize the voice and the One who is calling to us through it. Frustrated by our heart's continuing sabotage of a dutiful Christian life, some of us silence the voice by locking our heart away in the attic, feeding it only the bread and water of duty and obligation until it is almost dead...Come morning, the new day's activities scream for our attention, the sound of the cry is gone, and we congratulate ourselves on finally overcoming the flesh.”
(page 2)

“...the Christian life is a love affair of the heart. It cannot be lived primarily as a set of principles or ethics. It cannot be managed with steps and programs. It cannot be lived exclusively as a moral code leading to righteousness.” (page 8)

“In all of our hearts lies a longing for a Sacred Romance. It will not go away in spite of our efforts over to years to anesthetize or ignore its song, or attach it to a single person or endeavor...The deepest part of our heart longs to be bound together in some heroic purpose with others of like mind and spirit....the Romance has most often come to us in the form of two deep desires: the longing for adventure that requires something of us, and the desire for intimacy--to have someone truly know us for ourselves...” (page 19)

All In How You Play the Game

I went to my oldest nephew Jordan’s varsity soccer game last night, and while the play on the field was exciting, I found the spectators just as amusing.

First of all, my brother Steve was really into the game. He was out of his lawn chair for most of the game, pacing the sidelines, coaching the ref, making comments about the good calls and complaining about the bad. He went on for about 5 minutes about how there should have been a red card given after one of the other team’s players got in the face of one of our players, etc. Now I realize that it was probably NOT my best move as a younger sister to try to bring levity to the situation by telling my brother that if he didn’t calm down, I was going to give him a red card and call Mom. At which point, he laughed and handed me his cell phone, but at least he did laugh.

Farther down the field, there was a mother on the sidelines, and she knew every player by name, which was kinda nice, but she just wouldn’t hush up the whole game. She has one of those voices that carries, and she kept giving the players advice from the stands. “Corey, watch out for the guy on your back.” “To your left, Austin!” “Mark, number 11 is right behind you.” And then she kept saying, “Boys, do the right thing, right.” Now, I think that is a healthy admonishment, but what did it have to do with the game at hand, I wondered. I guess in weeks past, this Mom has brought a cow bell to the games and has jingled it the whole time, but I guess the players (including her son, I imagine) had asked her not to bring it anymore. It was too distracting. I know I was glad she had left it home.

There were other parents that were getting riled up about some of the calls or about some of the other players’ aggression, too. I just sat there rather entertained by the whole scenario. Is this going to be me someday? It’s just a game to me. Let the kids have fun with it.

OK, can someone PLEASE explain what the heck it means to be off sides? I just don’t get it. My brother tried to explain it to me twice last night, and I just couldn’t see it. I like soccer. I just can’t follow that one rule. It doesn't make sense to me.

UPDATE: Crickets

I disposed of another cricket yesterday morning, and so it continues. [sigh!] Now, I've still only seen 6 crickets inside my apartment as opposed to the 49 from last summer, and so I know it could be worse. And hey, I still have my sense of humor...

WAIT A MINUTE!! What was that over there in the corner? ARRGGGHHH!!!

It Was a Good Weekend Part II

SUNDAY
I returned back to College Park Church this week to hear their new pastor. It was an awesome service, and I confess there was a tug on my heart to return again, but I'm going to just keep praying about it. I'm planning to visit a couple more churches in the weeks ahead, and so we'll just see how things go. I want to make sure that I am going where GOD wants me and not just basing a decision on what would be easy, convenient, comfortable, etc.

I watched Ivanhoe on Sunday evening. It has been years since I saw the movie or read Sir Walter Scott's book. I've always preferred Rebecca to Rowena as the heroine of the novel. I like Rebecca's quiet strength and discipline. I know that someone is going to hate me for comparing the 2 novels like this, but Ivanhoe is a bit like Sense and Sensibility in that way. I respect and admire Edward Ferrars for the way he upholds his youthful pledge of love to Lucy Steele, and yet I breathe a sigh of relief every time I read the book and learn that is it is Lucy who frees Edward from their engagement by pursuing his brother. Ivanhoe doesn't have that kind of an ending, but I like it all the same. I understand why it is Rowena that Ivanhoe marries, and while the romantic in me wants to see love conquer all, I don't see how it could work for Ivanhoe and Rebecca. OK, I confess, I might have had just a bit too much time on my hands to think about this.

MONDAY

I went up to Kokomo for the day to see my sister and her family. Instead of grilling out or having a picnic, we all went to McDonald's for lunch. Why you may ask? Well, going to a McDonalds with a playland was a reward for nearly 3-year-old Grace for staying dry for a full week. Yes, my sister only has 1 more to potty train now. WOOHOO!! I'm so proud of Grace! And since Harrison is only 7 months, that is going to be a while. It was fun watching Grace and Jacob play with such exuberance. I loved it!



My sister and I did some shopping while the kids napped, and then Jacob, Grace, Thorn and I watched a movie and goofed off while their parents and Harrison went grocery shopping. I do love the family dog Thorn. He is a bit too excited to show you love. I have the scratches to prove it since he likes to jump on you and basically "dance with you," but he's very sweet.

Almost 6-year-old Jacob made my day. First of all, as we were heading out to lunch, he informed me that he liked my purse. Now I don't know when he started paying attention to accessories, but I liked hearing it all the same. Then later in the afternoon he informed me that I looked like a princess. WOW! That made me smile. Now I must admit that about 1 minute after giving me a serendipitous compliment, he asked if I was going to come back to the living room so we could play a game on the Wii, and so maybe there was an ulterior motive there. But hey, we single girls will take all the compliments we can get. Hee hee!

It was a pretty fabulous weekend all in all. Thank you, LORD!

It Was a Good Weekend Part I

FRIDAY
Kristen and I caught up over dinner at the Olive Garden. Yes, Diet Girl was glad to find that there were some dishes at OG that wouldn't break the diet. It was yummy, and I survived without eating the breadsticks. [sigh!] After dinner, we went through the Egyptian exhibit at the IMA. I really have enjoyed this exhibit, and it was fun introducing it to Kristen. The To Live Forever exhibit is only here in town for another week, and so if you haven't visited yet, you had better hurry in. Tickets are... OOPS! I just went into my volunteer spiel. HA!

We also visited the Star Studio to see the new chair exhibit and made our own paper chair crafts. Yes, this area is typically filled with creative children, and there were a few working alongside us, but Kristen and I had fun decorating our own chairs and laughing at ourselves. It was fun being a kid again for a few minutes.

Yes, there is just something relaxing and calming about the IMA for me. I don't tire of it. Maybe I should rethink the docent thing...

SATURDAY
Becky came over for lunch, and then we watched the first 4 hours of Anne of Green Gables. It's been a few years since I've watched it all the way through, and it brought back memories and made me chuckle. Becky and I took turns reciting lines. Lisa and Barbara: you will be glad to know that I did point out a few of the places I had visited on Prince Edward Island just to keep up the tradition. You know what I'm talking about... "Becky, my family was on that beach, and I have a picture of those red cliffs. And hey, my Mom and I picked lupin in that woods right there."

Both of us decided we couldn't sit through the remaining 4 hours of the 2nd part on the same day, and so we opted to have dinner and then go for a walk along the canal. It was a busy evening downtown due to the upcoming sky concert, but it was still nice to get out, walk and enjoy another fine summer day.