My Church Search: Still Slightly Disconnected

I confess, it is becoming increasingly harder not to have a church home. I’ve visited quite a few different churches over the last few months, and yet I don’t feel any closer to making this critical decision.

I’ve been going back to College Park Church on Sunday mornings pretty regularly. I have always liked the worship, and I’m really enjoying the new pastor and his excellent teaching. He keeps things real and direct, and I’ve been convicted nearly every Sunday. GOD has been revealing so much to me through those services. This last week I was sobbing at the end of the service and glad the lights were dim so I wouldn’t scare my neighbors with my hysterics.

BUT...I am still missing that sense of community and being involved in the body. I want to be active and involved in ministry and community, and this is where I got stuck last time when I attended College Park regularly. I don’t want church to just be a Sunday morning experience for me. Throughout the week, I am working on my relationship with my LORD and SAVIOR, and GOD has been so faithful and patient with me in that regard, but there is still something missing.

I’m missing that kindred fellowship with other believers. I’m missing interaction with other members of the body in their own unique ways. I’m missing people. In short, I’m wanting to be part of a team again. I’m missing having people involved in my life and me being involved in theirs--calling each other out when we need it, encouraging each other to keep on, building one another up in Christ, assisting each other when there is a need (physical, emotional, etc.), praying for one another, counseling one another, meeting the other where they are in the midst of their struggles and pain, serving alongside one another, etc.

I have a few Christian friends where we have that kind of transparency and real relationship with each other, and I'm thankful for those open friendships, but I’d like to build on that and find a church community practicing that type of raw, honest living--together.

LORD, guide me and direct my path. I know that YOU are with me in my search.

"MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone."
- Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude -