Seeing Hope

It is not the despair that hurts one, it is the hope.

I jotted this line down from the mini-series Cranford that was on on PBS Masterpiece this spring, and it has stayed with me.

Hope can be a dangerous thing. And yet a world without hope is empty, hollow, irredeemable...we need hope.

One of my favorite passages is Jeremiah 29:11-14a. It is a part of the letter Jeremiah sent to the remaining exiles in Babylon under Nebuchadnezzar. It is a letter of hope, and the words resound in my head tonight.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you..."

I am ever seeking hope, and I tend to rise too quickly on the wings of anticipation when I spot it just there in the distance. I get excited and all riled up when I really just need to take a back seat, breathe calmly, and see where GOD is leading.

Tonight was another reminder that I need to continually turn my eyes back to HIS, look to HIM constantly instead of getting confident in my path and sure that I am headed in the right direction. I tend to let go of HIS hand too quickly to show that I am a big girl and can handle it myself. HE gently waits, HE knows what is ahead, and sure enough, I come running back wanting to know why HE didn't keep me from danger. All part of that delicate balancing act between CREATOR and HIS creation, between MASTER and servant, between FATHER and daughter...I want to trust HIM, I need to trust HIM, and yet so often I fail to do so completely. Why do I linger in thinking I know best, that this one time I can see things more clearly than HE? HE has been right every time in the past, and HIS wisdom and guidance has yet to fail me. Why do I doubt HIM?

LORD, I believe, help my unbelief.
LORD, I hope, keep my hope in YOU.