A spider got away at my desk yesterday morning. Actually, he crawled out from underneath a pile of files at my desk when I lifted the files. One of the attorneys standing nearby knocked the spider to the ground and then LET the spider crawl away to safety.
Those of you who are like me know that THAT is just plain wrong. You don’t release the enemy so that they can come back another day to fight or terrify you again. You eradicate them, finish them off...especially when it comes to this variety of 8-legged invaders. So I lectured the attorney after a thorough search of the terrain was conducted by myself and 3 others. No spider was found, but I knew it was just nearby, waiting.
All day, I was rather wigged out about it. What was it doing now? How long had it been there at my desk? Did I trap it under the pile on Friday only to release it again? Was it reading up on patent prosecution for one of our competitors? WHY ME?? I was itchy and scratching all day just thinking about those beedy little eyes watching me from some undisclosed location, and those creepy 8 legs meandering about my space... ICK!
Later in the day, the same villainous attorney that freed the spider the first time scared me by coming over and telling me not to move because the spider was hovering over me. Of course, I jumped about 6 feet and flung myself out of my chair, which he found humorous. I was not amused by his treachery. I was in a vulnerable frame of mind after the earlier run-in with the said creature, and he had no business to toy with my fragile state.
So then this morning, as I was innocently drafting another patent application on my laptop, I sensed and then saw movement out of the corner of my eye as the enemy returned ready for another go-round. I let out a partial scream, which caused my opponent to jump into a more defensive position. Yes, he quite literally jumped. My yelp brought help from 2 co-horts, and one of them promptly bumped the spider to the ground and then killed it for me. MY HERO! Of course, it was another woman, who foiled my opponent with one crushing blow! You are the best, Jennifer! I owe you one.
Life here in the Legal Department is humming along as usual post mayhem. I am still a bit jumpy and itchy after my near brush with terror, but I feel an enormous sense of relief knowing that the enemy has been brutally vanquished.
Well...I was feeling fine until the villainous attorney returned from his meeting, and I relayed back to him the news of the morning. He promptly corrected my version of the story by reminding me that it might have been another spider and not THE spider from yesterday that we killed this morning. I assured him that I was quite certain. He brought up the logistics of such a statement, and we argued about the validity of my claim, etc. Attorneys!! They love to debate. Then I said that I NEEDED to believe it was the same spider and that I was done discussing the topic, and that was an end to it.
Hmmmppphhhh!!
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